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Old 04-24-2012, 11:36 AM   #31
amandamarie
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 238
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Originally Posted by kimmidawn View Post
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Originally Posted by 09robiha View Post
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Originally Posted by kimmidawn View Post
And +1 to this
+1 to this also...im soooo glad you said this amandamarie! This especially has been my own experience (as a lesbian dating bisexual woman). I hope this doest offend anyone its just my personal experience but.... I generally do not date bisexual woman as a rule anymore because i find it to be far to complicated. i have even had bisexual woman ask me if i can be there 'bit on the side' whilst they date men because for some reason i don't count as much or I am somewhat lacking in some way which means they cant be in a real relationship. For me its hard to find a genuine bisexual girl that wouldn't discount me for a man.
I don't know about anyone else, but that didnt offend me; everyone has different experiences and just because I may not agree with your experience doesn't mean it's not valid. My question to you is, what do you mean you find dating bisexual women far too complicated? I think, if your relationship with your partner ends, you could open the possibility of dating a bisexual woman but still be very cautious, by only being open to that possibility with bisexual women who are interested in actually dating a lesbian, not simply the sexual aspect.

Even though I can't exactly discount all the negative experiences with bisexual women you've had, but personally, I would never have anyone on the side (man or woman) because that would be disrespectful to my primary partner. I'm bisexual, and I'm attracted to women in terms of both sexually and as far as a relationship. I would be equally happy in a relationship with a woman as a man. I appreciate your experience, as it's important to know both good and bad experiences (not just good ones), but I hope I've been able to show that not all bisexuals are like the ones you've encountered.
Sigh. Okay. I find it really frustrating--less offensive and more just annoying, not of you, 09robiha, but as a cultural thing--because being bisexual or any other non-monosexual orientation should not, IMO, imply a tendency to cheat or have reckless or inappropriate sex or anything like that. For me, it's as simple as being much more interested in the insides than the outsides of my partner, and I know a lot of other people who either describe it that way or who are more like what it sounds like is true of kimmidawn and happen to be interested in attractive women and attractive men (but not at the same time). It's upsetting and a bit hurtful to me to feel like I might get rejected on those grounds, or that a girlfriend's friends might tell her not to date me on those grounds, when I know perfectly well that what I am looking for is a long-term, loving, monogamous relationship, and I don't care what the body of the person who I have it with looks like. That does not seem like a reason to reject me?!

On the other hand, there are a lot of these girls out there who really do call themselves bisexual because boys think it's hot, or who might really like women but aren't ultimately ready to accept the societal implications that go with being in a lesbian relationship. I know a bunch of those ones too (and usually don't like them nearly as much as people). So it's rough because I can't totally blame lesbians for feeling this way--or the women in question, because hey, I don't know their lives, I can't say how queer they are or aren't--I just wish it generally were taken for granted a little more that people fall in love with who they fall in love with and that these labels don't tell you much about what's really in a person's heart.

Ew, I just got really cheesy. But you guys know what I mean?!
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