I agree with the previous suggestions. Is the ACES program part of the school district, or is it a separate system? If not, I would investigate again about getting him evaluated through the school district. The pediatrician will hopefully be helpful also.
A couple other thoughts: Perhaps you could use video games as a reward for having a good day at school and putting shoes/backpack/etc in the right place, or something along those lines.
I think the teacher is dropping the ball here. Teachers are very busy and have way too many demands on their time, so I am sympathetic to her, but she's not following through like she should. Is there any way you can volunteer in the classroom an hour or two per week? You could keep closer tabs on how he's doing and maintain good lines of communication with the teacher.