The Official Online Dating Diaries Thread
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Wednesday, May 2, 2012 at 10:50AM
OK, I've hung out w/ this guy I met online 4 times now (over the course of 12 days).
I'm kinda starting to like him!
He's acting like he likes me, too! (But who knows...could be just running game on me.
Neither one of us has brought up anything about removing our profiles from the site or wanting to be exclusive, etc. And I totally would not expect to have, as it's been less than two weeks.
Yet, I find myself not even really wanting to log on to check my mail, etc., bc I don't want him to see I'm still "active." And I purposely don't look at his profile bc I don't want to see that he is still active.
Things seem to be going well btwn us and I just think if either one of us saw that the other was still actively looking, it would kind of taint things? Anyone understand what I mean? Like he might assume I'm really not into him and start to pull back (same with me).
Rationallly, I totally understand and support the idea of both of us continuing to keep our options open and meet other people (I'm attending a speed dating event tonight that I scheduled a couple of months ago). I mean, we barely know each other! And the purpose of joining the site was to meet lots of new people, and narrow it down from the largest posible pool.
But on the totally irrational, human side, it just seems icky and unnatural to be kissing someone, saying good night to someone, thinking about someone...and then turning around and flirting w/ other people.
I'm going fwd w/ my speed dating plans but I am feeling conflicted over it and I know I would be hurt if, for instance, I saw my guy at the same event.
Several years ago, I'd been happily dating someone I'd met online for about 5 weeks when I reluctantly (at the urging of my friends) accepted a date w/ a diffrent guy. And by some weird conincidence I almost wound up at the same place on the same night w/ both guys. If I had, the guy I had been happily dating for 5 weeks would have surely ended it w/ me.
...I just think "dating around" for just the sake of dating around, can have dangerous consequences.
But when's the right time to deactivate the membership? And does it need to be done bilaterally?