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Old 05-04-2012, 02:13 PM   #34
Xyz
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 1,913
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Thanks for all the replies. A few things:
I'm actually the smilely type which I think may contribute to why men say I am hard to read. Sometimes if I smile, this leads men to believe I am interested in them. Then, when I am clearly not interested, I think they are confused or assume I'm confused. I will have to figure out the smiley thing.

I also am a bringer of goodies when we, as friends, hang out as a group, which may lead some of the men to think that I will be the nurturing happy homemaker type for them only. So when I'm like, "No way, Jose," they try to convince me that "other women do it." I think I'll just keep telling them I don't like greedy people.

Also, the guy I mentioned would love to have his finger nails painted with "girl" colors (or totally wouldn't care). I've seen kids play in his hair and "girly" him (he's a curly with somewhat long hair) and he loves that. I've noticed that the so called macho men often do love to be pampered.

Quote:
Originally Posted by NetG View Post
I don't have much need for people of either gender who only have interest in those who throw themselves at others, either in friendship or romantic interest. This guy sounds like his "language of love" is in doing things for others, so he wants others to do for him. That's ok, but it sounds like he's being whiny in what he's asking of you. If anything, dude's making himself seem less masculine! I think he's probably interested in you and hoping you'll do something so he can convince himself the interest is mutual based on your description of his behavior. But then again, it kind of sounds to me from your description like he's the type who would string along multiple women at once, and wants you to be one of those women.
Ok, this post was really helpful. I'm extremely verbal and I always say that we are opposites because in the time I take to talk about what we are going to do he's already done it. His lack of communication bothers me sometimes, but you've helped me see that to him he IS communicating.

This reminds me of one time he took me aside and told me his 5 year plan, and what parts of his personality he needs to work on, and asked me how I felt about kids and whether I'd like to move to where he's from. My face was like: . I don't really understand whats in his head sometimes. I know we have fun when we hang out so I usually just shake off stuff I don't understand. Anyway, we'll see each other this weekend so we'll talk (hopefully without me being verbose and making it awkward) and try to get to a level where we spend less time together so that we don't annoy each other.
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