1. "My hair looks like this when I don't do it in the morning"
says the hairstylist with straight hair that is rippling with suppressed waves; you know how sometimes you can tell when someone has straightened their hair? I suddenly felt like giving her some hair care advice
2. "I'll give you something you can wear both straight and curly."
NO! They don't go together as well as you think they do. Plus, I know what you're doing to do. You're just going to cut it straight but leave enough length so my fringe doesn't curl into my eye.
3. "I'm going to use a razor to thin everything out"