I'm not even sure what you're looking for here. I would never change myself to "fit in." Period.
People do all kinds of things to get a job or get into a school. Maybe they're more conservative or reserved in a professional atmosphere. That doesn't mean they're changing who they are or don't have self-acceptance or high self esteem.
I have no idea why a neighbor would think I'm breaking in because of my personality or whatever, unless part of my personality included peaking into their windows or jiggling their door handle or something. That would be trespassing and some kind of odd issue that needs to be addressed, not so that I would fit in, but because it's causing some life issue.
And I'd tell my kids that they should get over it. Kids need to learn that fitting in isn't the be-all.