There are good ones out there. Mine is, sometimes he drives me nuts with his terrible memory or temper tantrums but they're both generally caused from working nights and not enough sleep so I just ride it out or disappear until he goes to bed.
The ones you're talking about SM are the general dogs/douches (not trying to offend anyone with those terms) and we can only hope that one day they'll be taken to task, but probably won't.
I hear ya on the controlling men PI and, really, it's those women's fault (that looks silly but I'm tired). They shouldn't have let it go when it first started and it wouldn't still be happening. We're still trying to dig our way out of that BS place that society put us in and too many don't bother to care to get out of it.