Myrna, I think I am confusing you with someone else with a similar screenname who is going to the Devachan that just opened here in LA. Sorry about that.
Otherwise everything else is accurate
I get what you mean though. And I like the analogy about going out to eat and bringing your own eggs. That's a good way to put it. Of course you wouldn't do that - though I have no qualms about picking a server's brains about how something is prepared.
LOL I'm a chef though so I can be kind of persistent about wanting to know how something is prepared. I try not to be obnoxious; it's more, if I really like a dish I've ordered, I want to know about it's preparation so I can try to replicate it. But I wouldn't bring my own ingredients and tell the kitchen "I don't like your produce, it's not organic, use mine instead"! That would too much.
Red, I think the problem is that you're a unique stylist that most of us would love to duplicate and have in our own salons
Instead we do get stylists who might make us feel uncomfortable when we share our own knowledge. Or bring our own products, or show our enthusiasm. I personally have had stylists make me feel like I am "showing off" when I share how much I know or how invested I am in my curl care. If I had a stylist tell me that I am "sort of telling them their job" when what I really am trying to do is just make sure the product I want used is used (because I do have good reasons for wanting it used), that makes me wary of that stylist.
I once had a stylist turn me blond instead if just a lighter shade of brunette like I had asked, and got mad when I questioned her on what she was doing because I could tell it wasn't right. She had to fix it, but believe me, I did not go back to her again.
The problem for me isn't that I think the stylist is gung-ho to earn her commission on selling the product, it's that the stylist just won't listen to what I want. Out of stubbornness or whatever. And no amount of "trying to understand" seems to fix that. Where is the give and take? If I'm paying for a service, why is it that I am the one doing all the understanding? Even "focusing on the positive," (which means biting my tongue at half the stuff that comes out of a stylist's mouth) I can't tell you how often I kind of just tolerate the salon experience/stylist because I can't find anything better.
I'm asking because you seem to be the only stylist I've ever talked to that understands the client's perspective, and I know you must have a network of stylists that you talk to. I'm hoping you can give the stylists' perspective on this, from your network. Thanks.