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Old 06-23-2012, 04:52 PM   #31
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Originally Posted by QtBoutique View Post
I'm going to echo some of the earlier comments and say I'm confused by this thread. I don't see how this is a transition for your coworker because now her hair is all chemically treated. And I also don't think this can really possibly serve as a lesson about increased weight with increased length because, her hair length hasn't increased, it's just hanging longer. I don't see how she can accept her natural hair through this experience because she's no longer natural, she's texlaxed.

Also, you said her hair grows faster than average and it was only shoulder length when you relaxed it. I'm not sure if you meant shoulder length when stretched or shrunken, but if you meant stretched, I'm even more bothered by the fact that you relaxed it. That just shows that she hasn't been fully natural very long to begin with (I'm guessing somewhere around a year or so with her fast growth). If you wanted her to learn that length/weight comes with time, she should have actually put that time in. Impatience has caused many a natural to go back to the creamy crack and I feel like you enabled her to do so.

I get that shrinkage is a b*tch but it's part of the game. If that's not something your coworker is willing to deal with, maybe natural hair isn't for her at all. But I think you may be in slight denial if you think her chemically altered hair will have any correlation to, and therefore help her love, her completely virgin hair.

I hope this didn't come across mean or anything. Just sharing my thoughts.
Gotta say, I agree with all this.

Re-reading the OP, there was no mention that the co-worker doesn't like her hair texture/curl pattern or its appearance. It sounds like she didn't like the way her hair acted. The fact that the hair still looks almost the same with the texlaxer seems irrelevant to me, because you will have changed the way her hair acts.

So now she will get used to her treated hair and when her shrinkage prone natural hair grows back in, the same old problems will be there (problems she won't have learnt to deal with).
Either that, or she is going to wait until her hair grows 'x' long where she will have to hope that the weight of it will defeat shrinkage and make it act the way her texlaxed hair acts, even though 'x'-long might need to be, what, mid-back length?
Also, she now has the new issue of two textures to deal with (and trust me, even if they look the 'same' they will not be) and possibly the dryness/porosity issues chemical treatments tend to bring.

I kinda get your theory and your happiness at saving her from the relaxer, and I'm happy that she's happy with the results so far, but someone who after one year (or whatever) of being natural is so frustrated by her hair that she was about to relax doesn't sound like someone who is going to be a long-term transitioner.
I would have discussed anti-humectants, methods to keep hair stretched at night and the pros/cons of regularly wearing extensions since I would not put on someone's head what I wouldn't put on mine, but I guess everyone's different.
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