And I'm sorry, but how old is this man? Flirty texts with lesbians (if she really even is one)... going to work DRUNK (and possibly stoned) ?? Geesh, even if he isn't having an out-and-out affair, these things alone add up to a man who is completely emotionally stunted and not equipped to deal with reality and his problems in a mature, mentally healthy way.
Sorry, I just think you deserve way better.