What a load of BS. I am so angry on your behalf. How dare he offer a bunch of excuses (and not even remotely believable ones) and then try to pin the blame on you.
I agree with Spiderlashes 100%! What you are in is not a real marriage, it is an enabling system for his BS. If he really hates the idea of separating then he needs to admit that he has huge problems and start working on them and turn this into a real marriage.
I wish you strength and peace.
To Trenell, MizKerri and geeky:
I pray none of you ever has to live in a communist state.
Geeky is my hero. She's the true badass. The badass who doesn't even need to be a badass. There aren't enough O's in cool to describe her.