Oh, snap. I don't see no kind of 4-type lovin' here (unless it's in the form of 4A). But, that's OK. We've all got gorgeous hair.
I'm mixed (African American, Native American, French, Hispanic & "White American"/European), and, I've had the same problem.
My Mama (and her 3C/4A curls) always used to try and treat my hair like she did hers, only over exaggerated. I've been relaxed since I was 2 (15 now), so, since then, she's piled the grease into my hair.
But, my situation was switched from most of y'alls. Mixed as I am, I ended up with the kinky, 4B/4C, possibly a little 4A, hair (not that I'm complaining, love my kinks to death, though I'm just discovering them all over again) while my Mama (and Granny and Grandnana) all have more of the 3C, 4A hair.
So, it was interesting growing up. I've never really had a problem finding the right products until I decided to start transitioning, but, it was always like she was using too much grease and Pink Lotion on my hair - not because she was trying to treat it like she did her hair, but, because she didn't understand my hair (or how I ended up with it).