Ninjarette has brought up a lot of good points.

Personally, the term "nappy" only offends me when it is used in a way mean to insult me.

The funny thing is, I take it differently depending on if the speaker is relaxed or natural. I don't mean to, but it's like when white people say the "n word" versus black people saying the "n word." It's kind of like "only family can talk about family, so only natural girls can call me nappy because I feel I know exactly what they mean." Silly right?

One day soon, people will put the negative use of nappy behind them!

I also don't refer to my own hair or anyone else's hair as nappy. I don't know the condition of someone else's hair (whether it's tangled or unkept) because things can LOOK one way, but actually be another way. I just know how I like MY hair to look and feel to ME.
Originally Posted by LaCurlyMariposa
This right here is exactly how I feel on both topics to a T, and you are the only person that Ive seen explain it just like that. It IS a more "in the family thing" so even if a natural called me nappy headed in a negative way...it wouldn't offend me like it would someone with relaxed hair.

I think what's interesting is men's perspective on natural hair and "nappy vs good hair" or whatever, and I wonder whether it's mostly black women who keep up the 'nappy' hair thing or men.

A lot of women swear that they cant go natural because they are afraid that men (black) wont find them attractive and they are afraid their hair will be "nappy", but which one came first the chicken or the egg?

Also, what I find HILARIOUS is that the same women who use the word "nappy" in a negative sense are the same ones who will see our hair in a wash n go or twist out and be like "who did your hair and how did you get it to curl up like that"...lol.