Accepting that my hair is wavy, not curly

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It's taken a couple years--and god knows how much money spent on dozens of products--but I have finally come to terms with the fact that my hair is really and truly wavy....and not curly. I was in denial for a long time, especially after reading so many stories about people with "wavy" hair switching to a CG routine and poof! they had curls are popping out all over the place. I thought if I just tried long enough and found the right product I too could have pretty, even spirals all over my head. But the fact of the matter is that is just not my hair. My hair has waves, and uneven waves at that. There are patches that just want to be straight. There are even patches that alternate between swirling clockwise and counterclockwise resulting in more of a "bend" than a real spiral. I can--if I really load my hair up with gobs of strong gel and diffuse upside down till the cows come home--get it to be more "curly" for a short while, but the chunks always go limp after a couple of hours and start to look very unnatural. I've now found that my style holds up a lot better if I encourage it to go more towards a natural state, which does involve some degree of fluffiness and stringiness. It's been hard to embrace those traits, because that doesn't seem to be generally what people aim for when they let their hair be "natural." It also seems like a lot of specialty curly lines really cater more towards those with curlier hair, hence all of the pictures of women with loads of individually defined spirals. But the point of me beginning the CG journey in the first place was to finally be able to let my real hair shine, not to try to force it to be something it's not, whether that be straight or curly for that matter. I'm posting a picture--sorry it's a little blurry but I think you all can still see it well enough--from a good "wavy" day. Parts of it are stringy, parts of it are undefined, but I still love it :-). To all of you with uneven wavy hair, your hair is beautiful too! And don't you ever think otherwise.
Attached Thumbnails
Accepting that my hair is wavy, not curly-p1030320.jpg  
I have hair similar to yours! I've seen glimpses of shirley temple ringlets on my head but they invariably fade to strings. My hair looks nice and curly when it's wet, but by the time it's dry, it's stringy and frizzy. I can't say I've had a hair day as good (and clumpy) as your photo since going CG. :P

Personally, my goal is to get rid of my frizz, by the most natural means possible. I don't really care about curls, as long as my frizz is gone! If I get ringlets, that would be a nice bonus, but if my hair insists on waves I'll be fine with that. I'm just sick of frizz. :P

---
2cMii, porous, good elasticity, APL, dark brown with a silver lining.
Love coconut oil, olive oil, and Everyday Shea!
HGs are simple, natural, and destroy frizzzz!!
When going CG it is important to not skip Deep Conditioning, and Deep Protein (if your hair will accept protein) treatments to see the best your hair can be. Having proper moisture/protein balance will help you to get the best results possible.
Be Happy!

Type:2b/3ab?
Texture:Medium/fine
Porosity:Normal
Elasticity:Normal

Experimenting with too many products to name here. All this great info keeps my head spinning.
It can definitely feel frustrating to see some of the transformations in the before and after thread and not see the same huge change in your own hair. I know several wavies who have been right where you are now. And all of them have said the same thing- once they accepted their hair and focused on making it healthy instead of making it curly they were finally happy with their hair.

Sent from my BlackBerry 9800 using Tapatalk

3a/f/iii
Modified CG since 11/5/11
CLEANSE: VO5 Vanilla Mint Tea Clarifying, DevaCare No-Poo, CHS Treatment Shampoo
RO: DevaCare One Condition, SS Caitlin's Conditioner, Mop Top Daily Conditioner
LI: SS Repairing Protein Treatment, CHS Silk Leave-In
STYLE: Re:Coil, Curl Keeper, Deva Ultra Defining Gel, Curls Rock Amplifier and Strong Hold Mousse, Sweet Curls Elixirs Okra Gel and Hard Hold Gel, SS Curl Enhancing Jelly and Firm Hold Gel
Yesterday I did a coconut oil deep conditioning, which I've done before, and though my hair felt fuller and moisturized after, it was still frizzy. :x

Right now i'm sitting with gelatin on my head! I tried natures gate conditioner in the past, but we'll see how this works.

---
2cMii, porous, good elasticity, APL, dark brown with a silver lining.
Love coconut oil, olive oil, and Everyday Shea!
HGs are simple, natural, and destroy frizzzz!!
I struggled to accept wavy over curly, too. In fact, I permed for about 10 months, until one day, I just......stopped.

I like the unpredictability of waviness. As long as the top layers are long enough, it's usually a good surprise (except when it's 99 degrees and humid, and it's all Farrah, all the time).

Dogs and nature abhor a vacuum.
http://geaugadoggy.wordpress.com
Thanks for posting this. I've only been Cg since April and I think I'm still coming to terms with just being wavy. My hair, like yours curls up a lot more in the front and stays limpet or fluffier I the back. I've been dying to get my air to curl in the back threat it does in the front, but it just isnt happening. Your post makes me want to try and love it anyway

Personally, my goal is to get rid of my frizz, by the most natural means possible. I don't really care about curls, as long as my frizz is gone! If I get ringlets, that would be a nice bonus, but if my hair insists on waves I'll be fine with that. I'm just sick of frizz. :P
Originally Posted by earthnut
Earthnut, I've been experimenting with a technique that you might like then. I do it when my primary goal is frizz elimination, as opposed to adding volume. I take a curl cream (currently I'm using CJ CCCCL) and, instead of scrunching it up into my hair, I comb it through using one of those wide tooth shower combs. I then scrunch the bottom upwards a little bit just to encourage some wave at the bottom--but not too much--and I don't flip my head over and scrunch. Then I either let it air dry or I blow dry with the bowl of the diffuser pointed downward towards my head rather than gathering my hair up into the bowl. Doing this makes my hair smooth and straight from my crown down to about my ears, but leaves the wave in the bottom half of my hair. I've tried this technique with mousse and gel also, and those work ok too but I seem to get the best results from the cream.
Thanks for posting this. I've only been Cg since April and I think I'm still coming to terms with just being wavy. My hair, like yours curls up a lot more in the front and stays limpet or fluffier I the back. I've been dying to get my air to curl in the back threat it does in the front, but it just isnt happening. Your post makes me want to try and love it anyway
Originally Posted by Tili
Yes!!! You absolutely should :-). I will admit though that I'm currently in the process of growing it out because I've found the back maintains a wave better if it's past my shoulders. The top of the back of my head never stays wavy though. I can temporarily get it to curl if I scrunch in a ton of gel and diffuse upside down, but it always falls straight midway through the day. I think my hair is just too fine and there's too much of it piled on top of itself to support the pattern in the back.
I've decided to forget curl myself and concentrate on healthy frizz-free hair. Some days my canopy spirals beautifully and other days it's mostly wavy. I figure if it's healthy and shiny then it's a good day.
Sabibs my hair is like yours except it is coarse. Instead if falling straight it just tends to get very large in those are that don't curl as well. Mine also tends to curl a bit better when it is longer so I am also growing mine out.
I miss straightening my hair just because I miss the way it looks when it is straight. I think it suits my face better. I also miss being able to touch it. I pin the front of my hair back a lot now and that helps hide the inconsistency a little and I've come up with a few styles that I'm actually starting to really like.
My hair, which has always had a mind of its own, has not changed in degree of waviness since I began a modified CG regime. I still have places where my hair barely waves...just a hint of a bend, and others where it has a nice defined wave pattern. I am ok with that.
What this method has done is given me the most healthy, shiny, nice to touch hair I've ever had.
We've got to accept what we have and make it the best that it can be.
I've known naturally curlies who hate their curls and have tortured their hair to make it straight.
It's all about acceptance......
And those waves are BEAUTIFUL!!

Love those waves .


😜🍸Sent LIVE from my JPhone 4s using some CurlTalk app. 😜🍸

http://AfroCurls.wordpress.com
claudine19 likes this.
FroZen
Your hair is so pretty - but I totally feel you! I just wrote a novel type post on my concerns that my wave pattern is inconsistent/funky looking/etc. I'm hoping for more consistent waves/curls too but I don't know if it's going to happen and hopefully I, too, will be ok with that.

Personally, my goal is to get rid of my frizz, by the most natural means possible. I don't really care about curls, as long as my frizz is gone! If I get ringlets, that would be a nice bonus, but if my hair insists on waves I'll be fine with that. I'm just sick of frizz. :P
Originally Posted by earthnut
Earthnut, I've been experimenting with a technique that you might like then. I do it when my primary goal is frizz elimination, as opposed to adding volume. I take a curl cream (currently I'm using CJ CCCCL) and, instead of scrunching it up into my hair, I comb it through using one of those wide tooth shower combs. I then scrunch the bottom upwards a little bit just to encourage some wave at the bottom--but not too much--and I don't flip my head over and scrunch. Then I either let it air dry or I blow dry with the bowl of the diffuser pointed downward towards my head rather than gathering my hair up into the bowl. Doing this makes my hair smooth and straight from my crown down to about my ears, but leaves the wave in the bottom half of my hair. I've tried this technique with mousse and gel also, and those work ok too but I seem to get the best results from the cream.
Originally Posted by sabibs
Thank you so much for this suggestion! I'm going to try this tomorrow. I have such a hard time with the "top part" of my hair holding a wave/curl through-out the day. My hair will only curl/wave nicely from my ears down, and I'm at a loss as to what to do with the top. I couple of times I have combed the top and let it dry that way (straightish on top, wavy on the bottom) and I like the way it looks.

Subscribing to this thread because I really need to learn to accept my hair for what it is: wavy,not curly.
Wave, fine, medium texture, color-treated, porous
Lo Poo: DevaCurl Lo Poo
CO Wash: VO5 Kiwi Lime
Condish: Tressemme Naturals Moist and GCP CB
Leave in: (experimenting but like KCKT)
PT: (experimenting)
DT: (experimenting)
Styling Combos: SS CEJ add SS FHG, KCKT and KCCC
Experimenting with: Suave Captivating Curls Mouse
Techniques: Icequeen, Smasters
Hair Dislikes: glycerin!!

Subscribing to this thread because I really need to learn to accept my hair for what it is: wavy,not curly.
Originally Posted by springlily
Yay! Good for you

Last edited by sabibs; 07-19-2012 at 09:09 AM.
I relate soooo much to this thread. When I first joined this site, I kept hearing about ‘curl potential.’ My hair did not have a dramatic transformation like others after going cg. It was just less frizzy and defined more. Somehow I thought that my hair could be better and curlier with certain products and technique, and I kept looking. But a few years later, many tried techniques and many, many products later I realize I am a wavy not a curly. And most of all I am learning that is ok.

I found out the biggest change to my hair came from not brushing my hair dry. Lol That made a world of a difference.

I also have waves and straight/straightish pieces. I have figured out some areas will be straight no matter how long my hair gets or regardless of technique or products. And my hair does not hold style well throughout the day unless I put a ridiculous amount of gel and not scrunch it out which does not bode well for me.

I think my hair is always going to be inconsistent except those rare moments. I ‘m a work in progress trying to accept these things about my hair.
Hair pattern:Wavy
Texture: mainly coarse hair with some medium strands
Porosity: Normal and High porosity
Re-CGed (modified) April 2011
Cowash: Suave Ocean Breeze
Rinse Out: GF's Triple conditioner
Other products: HEBE and grapeseed oil
Occasional Shampoo: Giovanni tea tree triple treat shampoo
This thread just really needs to be revived. I'm in a bad mood tonight. So, I deep conditioned my hair. I really need to do a deep protein treatment, but that has to wait until Saturday, but I had my samples from Jessicurl and it does need conditioning too. I decided to leave it naked since it's night and all and maybe I just should give it a rest. But then my hair is practically straight. And I feel like a pretender. There it lies with just a little flip at the ends, a little puff and body. I'm a faaaaake. But then it's quite fun to bring out what wave I can with products and diffusing. Is that fake? Should I just say "hey it's fun". I've never been a big hair messer. I've either kept it short or permed it. (I didnt even realize it wasn't stick straight.) I rarely condition. I color (I just can't accept going grey). So honestly, it's kind of amazing it's in as good of shape as it is. But I have to accept that no matter what, I'm not even as wavy as most wavies. I'm not going to get those nice chunky pieces much. I probably need to comb out what wave I get and just accept the big wave pattern. It'll look legimately wavy for a while but inevitably begins to look like I just came out of a strong wind. I have to find a way to just enjoy what I have and do my best. Right. RIGHT? (Thumbnail is "worked" hair. Scrunched, gelled, diffused etc.)
Attached Thumbnails
Accepting that my hair is wavy, not curly-img_2696.jpg  
chloe92us likes this.
I like your hair chupie. mine is very similar, With no product my hair is basically strait with a little bit of wave, healthy, but still pretty strait. I can encourage curl and it will last a little while but I'm starting to accept that while I am most likely never going to get the pretty tight ringlet curls that I think are so nice, I am able to wear my hair both basically strait or pretty wavy with out a crazy amount of effort either way. It gives me more versatility if I think about it. I had a hard time admitting that, since I've always wnted curls, and have definitely had a few meltdowns out of frustration that I couldnt force myself to have what my "ideal" curl pattern was, and felt like I was trying to fake/force what I didn't have. Thanks for digging up this thread
KAT
~Curly, Runner, Self-confessed Nerd~

2a no product/2b-c styled
Low Porosity, Fine
No poo-SM
Co wash-VO5 kiwi lime*
Rinse out- ION EC
Leave in - Giovanni Direct then SM smoothie (ends only)
Stylers-SM souffle topped with BRHG*

Hair hates: glycerin (high dews here in TX)
Hair likes: Coconut Oil*, protein

*=HG

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