Frustrated :(

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  • 1 Post By wavin9
  • 1 Post By lms6241

So I am about a 2a- 2b. I've been without sulfates or cones for about a year now. I rarely ever blow dry my hair or straighten it, so I know it's not damaged. However, my curls have continued to be messy looking and not very defined. They also tangle a lot. Right now I'm using a product that is called Derm Organics, both the shampoo and conditioner. I've tried the Kinky Curly shampoo and found it too drying. I tried the Shea Moisture shampoo for curls and found that to be too drying at times yet not removing buildup at other times. I've also used several other products with barely any results on my hair. I am currently using the Devacurl gel, which doesn't give me very much definition or tame on frizz. I find this is the case for most of the products I use. I am writing this, I guess, pretty frustrated. I realize that finding the right products can be long and tiring. However, it seems no matter what I try I get the same results. My hair is pretty oily, but gets frizzy and dry pretty easily. I've tried co washing with disgusting results. Right now I am washing every other day, but most of the time the second day is still very greasy and I have to use a dry-shampoo. My parents (I am in high school) made a comment tonight, as they have several times, that my hair would look much nicer if I brushed it. I replied, like the other times, that repeated brushing of my hair gets rid of my curls and adds so much frizz. I am not saying that this is entirely based on my parent's opinion of me, haha, but it just intensified my frustration with my hair. I really wish my hair was curlier, but I know that wishing gets me nowhere... Anyone been in this VERY frustrating spot? I just want to shave my head or get a perm or something. Anyone have anything to try or suggestions? Thanks for reading this post all complaining... sorry!
Lagordia likes this.
Have you determined your hair's properties? Curl pattern can be very transient and properties like texture and porosity are what make the biggest difference in finding the right products. Also- techniques make a huge difference- what is your current routine from start to finish?

3a/f/iii
Modified CG since 11/5/11
CLEANSE: VO5 Vanilla Mint Tea Clarifying, DevaCare No-Poo, CHS Treatment Shampoo
RO: DevaCare One Condition, SS Caitlin's Conditioner, Mop Top Daily Conditioner
LI: SS Repairing Protein Treatment, CHS Silk Leave-In
STYLE: Re:Coil, Curl Keeper, Deva Ultra Defining Gel, Curls Rock Amplifier and Strong Hold Mousse, Sweet Curls Elixirs Okra Gel and Hard Hold Gel, SS Curl Enhancing Jelly and Firm Hold Gel
Hey hon- I'm sending a big hug your way! We've all been there. I promise. This is weird, because I have the same problems as you and I'm in high school too! (Hair twin?) But yes, sometimes I just feel like products do nothing for my hair except make it stringy and gross. I still have just as much frizz my hair is just crunchy and has less curls. The great thing about wavy hair is it's a type of it's own. You don't have to put in any product in your hair after you shower (I only do occasionally) and it will still look OK. I know many 2a's do not use mousse, gel, etc. Because it weighs down their curls. Try a spray! Also you do not have to totally put down the hair dryer. Blow drying it occasionally will not kill your hair. I'd say no more then once a week. And with your hair type, it will straighten fairly quickly, reseulting in less damage. I know what your feeling because I'm going through it too. I only wear my hair down to school about once every two weeks! But my personal solution is lots of hair styles, i.e. braids, romantic buns, braided ponytail, etc.
~A proud 2c who is so thankful to have stumbled across this site over a year ago!
Your hair sounds like how mine used to be, so I'm going to give you my basic routine. It sounds like your hair needs more moisture, your scalp may need extra scrubbing, and you just need to find your magical product combination. I'm 2a-2b, medium-fine texture.

After about 2 months of this wash and conditioning routine, my tangles disappeared. I seriously almost never get tangles anymore.

Low Poo: Low Poos are gentler on your hair then sulfates, but they still have cleansers that can dry out your hair, especially with how often you wash. I currently use DevaCare Low-Poo. It's $18 or so for the 12 oz bottle, but it works well for me and I've had the bottle for a year now and still have a quarter of it left. I put a little bit on my fingertips and use it on my scalp only, not the length of my hair. This way, my scalp benefits from the cleansers, but it doesn't dry out my hair. I put a little on my fingertips and then rub and massage my scalp like crazy for several minutes. I then rinse my hair in sections. I lift the sections of my hair and rub some more while I rinse so the shower water can really rinse out the low poo, dirt, grime, dead skin cells, etc. All of this rubbing and rinsing made a huge difference in the greasiness. I am at the point now where I wash my hair twice a week and that's it. No dry shampoo needed either.

Conditioner: I use DevaCare One Condition. My hair LOVES this stuff and it smells better than the DevaCurl flavor. I take a huge glob of it and run it through the length of my hair. I'm careful not to apply too much to the root area though because I don't want it to weigh down. Then I scrunch my hair a few times so my hair sounds squishy. This supposedly helps get the conditioner into your hair. Once the conditioner is applied, I get a wide toothed comb and part/comb my hair. I have a mirror on the shelf in my shower. I used to use my fingers to comb, but my hair would be frizzy, so now I just use a comb. Then I let the conditioner sit on my hair while I shave, wash my body, etc. Then I rinse well and gently squeeze the water out of my hair so it isn't totally dripping.

At this point, I get out of the shower, dry off my body, grab my products and flip my head over into the shower so I can apply product upside down to my wet hair.

Leave In: I have a love hate relationship with leave ins. Can't use them in the summer because they weigh down my hair too much. I find this one to be very helpful for me in the winter though during the dry weather. I use Regis Olive Oil leave in conditioner (not to be confused with their olive oil rinse out kind). You can find it at Regis salons and the salons at Walmart. It's a small yellow triangular bottle. I apply a small amount to the length of my hair (I rake it in, no scrunching yet). The olive oil helps seal my hair. My frizz factor dropped dramatically when I started doing this.

Products:

My hair is IN LOVE with AG Re:Coil curl activating cream. It provides hold and the mag sulfate in it boosts my curl quite a bit. I bought the larger bottle with the pump. I rake in about 3 pumps. Again, no scrunching yet.

For gel, I started out using DevaCurl's ArcAngell. Looking back, it dried out my hair, made it kind of stringy, and the wheat protein in it made my head itch. Now I use either As I Am curling jelly or Aussie Instant Freeze gel (found at drugstores everywhere). These 2 gels provide much better definition and clumps for me than the Deva gel did. As I Am is found at Sally's and I use it in the spring and summer when the weather isn't so dry. In the fall and winter, I use the Aussie Instant freeze because it's glycerin free. Glycerin apparently makes my hair frizz out in the winter. I don't use a lot of gel, just a small blob of it to form a gel cast while I dry my hair. I rake in the gel really well too. Still no scrunching.

At this point, if I see more frizz, I'll sometimes take my comb and run it through once or twice. I try not to though if I can help it. I used to try to make a few clumps, but I don't even bother with that anymore. Then I take my curl cloth (tshirt would work here) and slowly scrunch my hair once or twice. That's it.

Then I grab my hair dryer and diffuser and pixie diffuse for 20 minutes or so until it's 90% dry. So basically, I take a section of hair, put the end in the diffuser, and slowly bring the diffuser up to my head and leave it there so my hair dries in a scrunched position. I diffuse upside down and diffuse each section for a minimum of 2 minutes at a time on medium heat, low power. Once all the sections have been dried for 2 minutes, I just start randomly pixie diffusing them again the same way until 90% dry. I keep myself entertained by catching up on my facebook on my phone or reading on my phone, etc. Then I gently straighten up, shake my head a little to get the curls in place, then clip my bangs for some lift while it air dries the rest of the way.

Once dry, I rub a little leave in conditioner in my hands, bend over, and gently scrunch out the crunch.

It seems like a lot of work, but it's worth it for me to have soft, clean, frizz free wavy hair. I hope this gives you some ideas to try. Our hair is all so different even though we're all wavies.
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Hair Properties: 2A/2B, Medium-fine, Normal porosity, Normal elasticity, Medium density
Low Poo: DevaCare, Yes to Cuc's
Rinse Out: DevaCare One Condition, Yes to Cuc's
Cowash: Suave Naturals Lavender, Yes to Carrots Scalp Conditioner
Curl Cream: AG ReCoil, Organix Moroccan Oil Curl Cream
Gel/Mousse: Sweet Curls Elixirs FSG w/ Mag Sulfate added, Sweet Curls Elixirs hard hold gel, DevaCurl Frizz Free Foam, Aquage Uplifting Foam
Protein: Spiral Solutions Protein Spray for daily use
My scalp (and skin in general) is really oily. I can't go a day without either co-washing or low pooing, and I've been CG for a year now. I can only co-wash 1 day in a row. If I do it two days in row, my roots get OC'ed and flat. You didn't mention if you were exclusively co-washing when it was a disaster or not, if you were you may try alternating.

You can "protect" your hair from the low poo by putting conditioner on the length of your hair before you low poo and concentrating the low poo only on your roots.

I think most of us have been incredibly frustrated with our hair. While you're figuring it out, you can try some fun hairstyles. Updos, braids, etc.

One very last option that I'm not necessarily recommending: Was your hair "better" before going CG? If you've been doing it for a year, and it's not working, you may want to try to go back to sulfates/silicones.

Good luck!
Wave Pattern: 2A
Hair Properties: Normal/Low Porosity, Medium Density, Medium Texture w/Fine Straight Underlayer
Co-wash: Suave Naturals, Cure Care
Low-poo: Renpure Brazilian Keratin
Rinse Out & Leave In: Tresemme Naturals
Gel: LA Looks Mega Mega Hold Gel, Garnier Fructis Spray Gel
I didn't have much luck with CO washing either. My hair always looked limp and greasy and it didn't matter if I CO washed daily, every other or every third day...gross hair. Now I use what I consider to be a low poo, Shea Moisture Moisture Retention Shampoo. My conditioner is from Sally's, it's the conditioning balm and I also use it as a leave in. I am able to wash every other day and rarely do every third day. I comb the conditioner through my hair in the shower and that cuts down on tangles.

I have discovered if I don't use any styling products in my hair then my hair gets oily quicker. I'm thinking the styling products I use are holding in the moisture which balances things out. I have been using the Shea Moisture Moisture Retention Shampoo, Sally's Conditioning Balm and Biosilk Rock Hard Gel for over a year. I also had pretty good luck with Crystal Gel from Sally's. My waves need encouragement and I have the best luck with sticky gels.
Lagordia likes this.
My holy grails: SM Moisture Retention Shampoo, GVP Conditioning Balm, Biosilk Rock Hard Gelee.
Have you tried plopping? After scrunching in deva gel on soaking wet hair, I scrunch with t shirt to get water out. Don't touch hair with hands once scrunched. Plop for ten minutes. Let hair out to diffuse or air dry. If leaving hair to dry, I clip top up. But never touch hair until completely dry was key for me in deva process. I do all this in the evening. Go to bed with hair on top of my head (after completely dry)...wake up and shake head and hair is perfect and bouncy.

My hair this far loves deva products. I read that can change but I really hope not as the process has become very easy for me.
What are all the products you're using? How are you applying them?
Coarse texture, normal-high porosity, normal elasticity (Komaza Care), very weak waves
cleanser: Redken Fresh Curls Shampoo, CJ Daily Fix

rinse out: GVP Conditioning Balm, CJ Repair Me, CJ Smoothing

jellies/creams: CR Curl Maker, KCCC, UFD Curly Magic
gels: CJ CQ, BRHG

Also, my hair is oily but use to get dry really easily. I discovered my hair hates Aveda products. I think it was all the wheat protein. I clarified my hair and deep conditioned the heck out of it and that awful dry crunch went away. So thankful I didn't have to cut my hair.

Also, to keep hair together before scrunching in gel, I flip my hair upside down, comb it with wide tooth comb, then twist strands into ten twists then scrunch. And when I say scrunch I mean I push each part towards top of hair like accordion. I don't grab and pull. And then I do same with tshirt.

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