The woes of a Wavie.

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I think my quest is to find a hairstyle that will work with my wavy hair. About 2 months ago I had my hair cut into more layers - trying to see if the waves would increase into curls. This was HUGE mistake because - as I know now - the waves don't even get to complete their form until my hair is a certain length. So now instead of nice soft s-waves I have little "flips" where an uncompleted wave is poking out! So I am officially in 'grow-out' mode.
Originally Posted by weberkm
I relate to this one! I let a stylist (not my current one) talk me into cutting my hair Hally Berry short so my waves could create movement. Now, nine months later, my hair is barely chin length and my shortest layer is comfortably touching the top of my ears. Until the past month or so, I had those exact flips, and I just had to let them grow into the rest of a wave or curl.

At some time, I'm going to have to write a post about all the brands I don't trust now and why I don't surcome to product junkie curiousity over every single one anymore (though some still tempt me).

Summer has been particularly hard on my hair this year since it's the first summer I haven't straightened my hair (now that I live in FL, it's fruitless), and the heat and humidity here have really limited what my hair will allow. 90% of products have given me huge frizz during summer. Where my hair wasn't picky at all over shampoos, my hair has been enormously narrowminded about sulfates. Basically, my hair decided to have two reactions to sulfate-containing poos: frizzy and incredibly poofy and frizzy. Most of what I've tried has either made my hair less frizzy but barely wavy or somewhat frizzy and somewhat curly.

I know how you feel! I don't have a lot of answers, but I do relate!
I, for one, an tired of trying to be something I am not. My hair is not straight. My hair is not curly. My hair is not consistent. My hair is my hair.
We put ourselves through the most hell because we are in neither category and we don't know what to do with our hair. If you are awavy then you already know that your hair is schizophrenic, you can be a bouncy curly girl one day and a sleek straighty the next, and a pouffy fuzz ball more often than not.
Originally Posted by eastcoastwaves
This is what I call incoherent hair type. There should be another category between curly and wavy for hair like ours that can't make up its mind!
Michelle
wavy/loose curls
I for one have always had my hair shoulder length and now I am trying to grow it out to atleast past my shoulders.. maybe mid-back length. I totally understand all the complaints in this post.

I used to have my hair chemically straightened until I had a bad experience and had my scalp chemically burned.. not pretty And I couldn't even get my hair to be remotely close to the feathered look.. it was either plastered to my head straight or trying to wave up.

Just know that your not alone ladies
~*Lauren*~
2b/3a, fine, thick, dry hair
Past shoulder length, gets wavy when longer and curly when shorter.
Alright I have a question..

I am looking for a gel, and I want it to be able to fight frizz, give good my curls/waves good definition but still leave my hair soft.. any reccomendations wavies?

Or am I searching for a product that does not exist..
~*Lauren*~
2b/3a, fine, thick, dry hair
Past shoulder length, gets wavy when longer and curly when shorter.
I can so relate to everything being said. Sometimes I think that being a wavy is great because we can go both ways but then sometimes it feels like I am just stuck in the middle . It is most definetly always a struggle though.
2 something, not really quite sure!
http://public.fotki.com/gracie1353/
Starry--I have heard great things about Dep Sport Gel and Suave Aloe Vera Gel--I am presently giving Suave Styling Gel a try--it has a soft to med. hold without crunch. Also, Salon Selectives Molding Putty I am playing with--I like this as well. It usually takes me a few weeks to get a handle on the products--I have re-ordered Angell. I used it in the Spring and was breaking out--thinking it was due to the gel, I stopped using it--but I think it was some other evil force at work. And JulieHoosiers posts about Devachan has ignited my interest to lay off all the layering of products I have done, and the gobs of condish. I have used, and to use a lighter hand and see what happens. I find that layering products gets me hugely frustrated, as the product should stand on its own merit.....But I hear everyone's frustration and I can totally agree with each one of you
2C/3A auburn hair.
between shoulders and BSL
I am looking for a gel, and I want it to be able to fight frizz, give good my curls/waves good definition but still leave my hair soft.. any reccomendations wavies?
Have you tried Dep Curl Cream Gel? So for it's the only "gel" that I've had any luck with.

So far I have not found a regular non-creamy gel that works for me the way I want it to. But there are two on my list to try: Loreal Curl Vive spray gel (I saw Laurabeth33 posting about this in other threads) and Tizz No Frizz from Aussie. I'd also like to try Curl Keeper and Batia and Aleeza but it's not in my budget right now.
Sporting: Long hair that can't make up its mind. Wavy? Curly? Straight? It's anyone's guess!
This might be the best discussion i have seen.
I know exactly how you all feel. I have wavy hair that sometimes decides to be really curly (and a frizzy mess) or really straight. For years, i either got perms or straightened it on a daily basis. I gave up on both about 2 months ago (perm free for 10 years, straight free for 2 months). Now it is a guessing game...by noon I usually know what my hair is going to look like for the day. If I scrunch and diffuse i can get small frizzy curls, if I don't touch it, then I get either waves or big curls that are inconsistent and never soft or one curl pattern.
I decided to keep experimenting with products (because i think it is fun) and just let my hair grow to the middle of my back. What happens with it happens. I refuse to fully dry it with a diffuser or straighten it anymore, i just have too much hair for that. I wash, condish, add product, plop, then diffuse for 5 minutes. What happens then is a surprise. Right now I am enjoying it...it sort of looks like Jennifer Aniston's hair when she left it wavy. I just want frizz-free hair that is soft, not dry and i don't have to spend a lot of time on.
Good luck to everyone. Enjoy trying new things with your wavy hair...who wants just straight or just curly hair...wavy hair adds change, excitement and fun. you never know what you are going to get. Also, unless you have ridiculously frizzy or damaged hair, no one can tell, its just you thinking it looks horrible. To everyone else, it probably looks beautiful. :P
lucyprimrose likes this.
Type 2C/3A, Medium texture and I have a ton of it, long hair, brunette, flat crown.
Modified CG'er since August 2004
I'm jumping into this discussion late (I was away on vacation & now catching up on posts). ITA with Eastcoastwaves.

It's so strange - for many years I'd gotten perms and didn't even know I had wavy/curly hair. Then I finally stopped perming 5 years ago and was shocked & pleased when I discovered that my natural hair was actually quite wavy/curly. Then my pleasure turned to irritation when I discovered that my hair would not behave as I wanted it to - on any given day it could look either decent - or it would look puffy, frizzy, dry, big, slightly wavy, very wavy - depending on factors I couldn't even begin to figure out - full moon, Tuesday, Arbor Day, who knew? Eventually I found this website where I picked up tips on how to make my hair look curlier. So I bought tons of recommended products: curl enhancers, gels, shampoos, conditioners, you name it. Some worked for just a little while and some not at all - but each new product would give me hope - hope that this would be "it" - the product that would give me great curl definition, no frizz, no puff, and perfect curls.

It took me too long to finally realize that no amount of coaxing, products, and styling techniques will ever give me perfectly beautiful curls - Never. Ever. Period. Some are better on my hair than others, but none will turn my 2B/C hair into 3A or 3B. And now that I have accepted this fact, I have slowed wayyy down on product purchases. Not only am I saving a lot of money and time, but I am much happier with my hair now that I don't expect it to be curly (or straight, for that matter - my hair is nearly impossible to straighten without a lot of time-consuming work).

These days a good hair day for me is when my hair looks wavy & healthy - that is my revised criteria. I have (proudly) stuck with the same products for 6 months now - well okay, I'll admit to an occasional new product purchase every once in a while (old habits die hard ) but for the most part I have stopped trying every new product that comes down the pike. And yes, I still do have those bad hair days, and they annoy me - but I can tolerate these days better because they are not the crises they used to be. I feel like I have come full circle.
lucyprimrose likes this.
Mishy (color-treated, thick, 2b/2c, several inches below shoulder length, long layers).
Tizz No Frizz from Aussie.
Originally Posted by Flippit
Hmm.. Isn't this like their old Smoothy Gel.
It took me too long to finally realize that no amount of coaxing, products, and styling techniques will ever give me perfectly beautiful curls - Never. Ever. Period. Some are better on my hair than others, but none will turn my 2B/C hair into 3A or 3B. And now that I have accepted this fact, I have slowed wayyy down on product purchases. Not only am I saving a lot of money and time, but I am much happier with my hair now that I don't expect it to be curly (or straight, for that matter - my hair is nearly impossible to straighten without a lot of time-consuming work).
Originally Posted by mishy
Same here. I finally gave up on trying to get my hair to be curlier. It's just not happening. I have found a way to reduce frizz though. I used to think my hair wasn't dry, so I didn't deep condition or use leave-in. But I started using Ouidad Deep Treatment and Balancing Rinse, and it really does add internal weight to my hair to keep it from puffing up.
Michelle
wavy/loose curls
Wavy hair almost NEVER looks the same way twice...EVER. This is frustrating in that a product that makes your hair look good one day but not the next. A curl enhancer may woek great one day when your haie decides it is in a 'curly" mood, but the next day it may want to be sraight and the sme product will look gunky & dirty. One day a light leave in may produce full sof waves...add some hunidity next day & you have uncontrollable frizz. wavy hair is extremely sensitive to over/under conditioning and improper use of styling products. Wavy hair can look amazing, but often due to some cleansing/conditioning/styling/meteoralogical imbalance it can also look like hell. wavy haie probably has more "bad hair days" that straight ore true curlies bechuase our hair is largely schzophrenic, two-faced & generally unreliable. People with wavy hair have to have a great sense of humor. Wavy haired people have to be able to adapt at a moment's notice and accept change, because our hair can, and will go from curly to wavy to pin straight just by adding or removing a ponytail elastc or barrette.
Incidentally, all of the phenomena you've described isn't specific to wavies. My hair is definitely more curly than wavy, but I have, and do, experience all the same woes everyone on this thread has described. I know, it doesn't fix the problem, but at least you know that it's not just wavies!
Hair type: Completely confused: mostly 3a, some 3b parts, and even 2 in places; very fine and thin.
Products: Elucence clarifying & MBC; CK, F/X Curl Booster Fixative Gel (when I can find it)
Here is an excerpt from my own personal "A-HA" moment. I hope it helps bring a bit of clarity to other wavies out there, for this "revelation" so to speak has certainly helped me (and my wallet). i have had to enlighten myself on some basic truths which i was chosing to ignore in my quest for the impossible.
I do not have curly hair. I do not have straight hair. I have wavy hair. My hair is not one singe texture uniformly around my head. My hair can be wavy, curly, stright, or any combination on any given day. My hair will absolutely be different in the evening from how it was in the morning, and afternoon. my hair is very responsive/sensitive to all external (and internal) factors. I do not need a curl enhancing product, i do not have curls. my wavy hair will sometimes curl up given the right circumstances, but not enough to warrant purchasing prodicts for a hair type that is not mine. I do not need straightening prodicts, serums, flatirons, curlers and the like. my hair is not straight and I will not wrestle it into sumbission & fry and bake it with hot ceramic styling tools trying to pretend that it is. I know that my hair tends to be dry so I need to treat it gently with nourishing sulfate free silicone free shampoos and good conditioners. A good leave in would be nice too. I don't need gel. Gel is for curls or straighties who blowdry. Gel does not allow hair to move and change, gel is designed to "hold in place" and create "memory" so curls will bounce back into shape or straight hair can be blown smooth. there is no chance in h&*$ that my hair can ever benefit from a product like gel for "memory" is useless in wavy hair..what exactly is there to "remember" anyway? My hair has never looked the same way twice! There is nothing to 'hold" in my hair because ther is no uniformity to it, it waves, curls, hangs straight, blows, changes, gets played with, twirled in fingers, coated in pb&j & baby kisses and put up in a bun or ponytail countless times a day, why would this hair need hold? I do need frizz control. I need soft, hold-free definition. that's it. great gentle shampoo & conditioner, a good deep treatment, a light leave in and a good hold- free styler. My hair is not a looser form of curly hair, it does not have any of the charecteristics of curly hair (except the tendency to be dry). my hair is not straight hair with 'body", it does not have any of the charecteristics of straight hair. My hair is wavy. Wavy IS it's own hair type. There are different degrees of waviness, just like with curly hair. Wavy hair is sexy, contantly having a loose "tousled" look. wavies get awesome 'beach hair" (even though we need to de a good deep treat after!). Wavy hair is bouncy, shiny, swingy, touchable (or it should be) and fun. I love my waves and would not trade them for any other hair type. Now that I have come to accept them, stopped abusing them with layers of product and just let them be what they are, I am completely happy. (well, 99.9% happy, if i could just find a styling product with frizz control, defitition & no cones I would be 100%)
"It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got"

2b
Yay Eastcoastwaves! I need to print out
a copy of your wavy manifesto and post it
next to my bathroom mirror. Maybe tuck a
copy in my wallet too for when I'm at the
drugstore. Because all of that applies to me!
Seriously - I agree Iazywaves!

Eastcostwaves has totally described where I want to be with my hair! I have hair really close to what Mip described... curly at the temples, with waves and no consistant curl at the back. Underneath, my hair is almost completely straight - I would say a really healthy 2a section at the nape of my neck. I went through a "product junkie" phase right when I joined this site a couple months ago. I wanted to try all these products... but I think all that stuff is just too heavy for my hair. As I wrote about in my curly-blog, I am now just in search of a gentle shampoo. I use Biolage for conditioning and then follow-up with Boots Curling Cream. It works well on all my different hair types on my head... with great hold and clumping, yet allows my hair to move and be itself.

Thanks so much for starting this post! I think people consider me as a curly-girl, even though I am realizing I am more of a wavie. Either way, I am starting to love what God gave me and be thankful for all the interesting curls/waves on my head!
2c with some 3a thrown in for fun!
East Coast Waves should start a Wavy Hair Anonymous group.. helping us all deal with and learn to accept our wavy hair!

BTW, EastCoastEaves.. I would love to see a picture of your waves! I'm sure they are gorgeous
~*Lauren*~
2b/3a, fine, thick, dry hair
Past shoulder length, gets wavy when longer and curly when shorter.
I can sooo relate to this topic. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in Hair Purgatory. It's frustrating for me because I have hair that is only 50 percent wavy and then the other 50 percent under my canopy is almost straight. But just wavy enough so the ends look like frayed paintbrushes!

I've given up any hope of manipulating my waves into anything other than a disheveled, unkempt look. The most I can hope for is to improve hair health and get it shiny and de-frizzed. I still prefer having my hair to boring straight hair, but my waves are lazy, cowlicky affairs that just look tweaked and poofy without proper coaxing and I do get tired of the Herculean effort involved not to look like I have chronic bedhead.
2C, Asian hair, very thick and coarse. And virtually indestructible, leaving a swath of destruction of exploded barettes, rubberbands and snapped chopsticks in its wake.
Eastcoastwaves-I have a question for you, you said that wavy hair is bouncy, shiny, swingable, my question is this, is your hair naturally bouncy and full of body? Mine has a tendency (if I don't use product and let air dry) to be flatter than a flitter and *not* have body unless I use a product of some sort and diffuse or blow dry.

I really think the biggest factor in any given day is what conditioner I use, the wrong conditioner really messes up my hair. Product is important but conditioner is a little bit more important to me.

I agree with Starrynite, I would love to see a picture of your hair to compare it to mine.....

Chelle
2a?, using MOP C system hydrating poo, Elucence conditioner, B&A Biomineral gel......off and on results....rely most on my curling iron for help
I can sooo relate to this topic. It's comforting to know that I'm not alone in Hair Purgatory. It's frustrating for me because I have hair that is only 50 percent wavy and then the other 50 percent under my canopy is almost straight. But just wavy enough so the ends look like frayed paintbrushes!
Originally Posted by ValleyGirl71
Ok, now you really have me curious, are the "frayed paintbrush ends" a wavy trait? I'm just wondering because I have those. My longer layers have beautiful ends but my shorter ends (especially the canopy) have the frayed ends and I thought it was just from damage and was planning on having my stylist cut them off. If they are normal until my hair grows out I'll deal with them but if they are damaged I think I should have them trimmed. The "frayed paintbrush" is sucha a good analogy though, that's exactly how a lot of my ends look.

Anyone else have this?

Chelle
2a?, using MOP C system hydrating poo, Elucence conditioner, B&A Biomineral gel......off and on results....rely most on my curling iron for help
wavies,

What shampoo & conditioner do you use? Have you tried any Jesicurl products? I am tempted to try them and were curious what your results were. Thanks!
2c with some 3a thrown in for fun!

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