The woes of a Wavie.

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I'm so glad to find some support here! I'm extra frustrated with the waves because I used to have silky, bouncy, shiny, thick curls. Over the past few years hormones and stress have turned it into a dry, dull, thin, unmanageable mess! It doesn't even look good straightened out anymore...just powdery dry and flyaway. But one thing that works for a good part of the day (unless it is windy or I or someone else touches my hair) is to put stuff in it when it's wet and then twist it in sections and let the fake curls dry, then gently break them up. (I look pretty stupid while it's drying because you can see my scalp between the curled bunches.) I haven't found a good product, though. Thanks for being here!
This thread rocks! I'm attempting to go productless. Would love for it to work!
2A/2B, fine, normal porosity

Growing out a pixie as of November 2013

Shampoo: Elucence MBS & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
Conditioner: Elucence MBC & Renpure Originals Argan Oil
Leave-in: CJ BeautiCurls
Stylers: BA gel & AG Re:coil

Product Junkie that keeps falling off the wagon!
Maybe there really are three very different hair types: curly, wavy, and straight. We a site just for wavies. :-/
2bMii // haleyluna.com
Don't forget Kinky!
2b. Dark Golden Blond. Very fine texture. Medium thickness. Thrilled to find waves!!!
Oh I think there's a lot of sites for that already...

2bMii // haleyluna.com
I've just been reading this thread and it has made me feel better. I'm having a hard time with my wavey hair as I'm finding it more hard work not straightening it that straightening it, yet I sometimes feel like admitting that to curly haired people is like committing some form of heresy.

I can't help thinking that having wavey hair is having the short straw as you are neither one thing or the other. Naturally our hair always seems to be crap so you have to work really hard to be one thing or the other and as was said early on, that means you're always being a bit fake.

Ironically I started looking into having my hair in it's natural state because i belly dance and I've been trying to find something I can do with my unruley hair that is attractive for performances. Belly dancing requires a lot of head movement (and it makes you sweat a lot too) so I am not sure if it's actually the best course to take for performance hair, however lovely I think belly dancers with curly hair look.
Bumping for the woeful wavies.



M
coarse, thick 3a
modified cg







ah my peeps!!!
My hair is a mix of 2b/3a and even a bit of 3b thrown in! I would call my hair wavycelli. It curls most when I leave it alone after wet scrunching. My hair has a spring factor of about 2 or 3 inches and has a very silky, medium texture.
Thanks to all for sympathy.
This is great timing to bring this thread back! As the weather gets colder, my waves tend to straighten out into flippy curves, no matter how much product I use, how much I scrunch, clip, etc. Time instead to try to work with it (somehow ), instead of getting frustrated trying to force that curl that comes so easily in the summer humidity.
wavy / coarse / thick
Thanks to all for sympathy.
Originally Posted by csb
Did I miss something? Sympathy for what

Chelle
2a?, using MOP C system hydrating poo, Elucence conditioner, B&A Biomineral gel......off and on results....rely most on my curling iron for help
Hi. I discovered this site about 3 weeks ago, and have been quietly lurking and learning as much as I could about the CG methods, which I've been practising, and liking for the most part.

Except ... it's not doing much to bring out more curl in my hair (I'm only a wavy - maybe 2b). So finding this thread only today has, I think, saved me from beginning to obsess about endless products to try, and from trying to achieve results that simply may not be possible for my hair without a lot more effort than I'm willing to put in.

It was very heartening for me to read this thread earlier today, after having a hair disappointment this morning. I had read here about the ionizing blow dryers, so I bought one yesterday, one with a diffuser that had "fingers". After a conditioner-"shampoo" with an added drop or two of honey, I towel-dried and applied some John Frieda's Fresh Curls and a touch of Got2B Defiant Pomade. I air-dried for about 20 minutes, then finished off with the blow dryer with diffuser, using the fingers of the diffuser to manipulate the hair. Result: a headful of wonderful, glorious, bouncy loose curls! I was ecstatic, and amazed. I'd never had results like that before.

The only problem was that they all faded out within about 10 minutes. Which is typical for me when I don't use curlers or a curling iron (which hasn't touched my hair for over a decade, I think). Plus, after all those lovely curls fell out, the frizz came back - big time.

I've been wearing short, wash'n'go hair for years, as I don't like to fuss with it. And I don't like using much product. And I don't like to blow-dry it (although it's so thick that I'm forced to do so in the winter).

After reading the posts here, I've decided that rather than follow the road I've travelled recently, trying to become a Curly Girl, I'm just going to keep letting my hair do what it wants.

One of the most important things I've learned from this thread is about over-conditioning, which I think I've been doing for the last 3 weeks. I hadn't realized it was even possible, but it does make such sense to me. My hair's been soooo soft these days before I apply any product; no wonder it can't hold any curl or wave.

I have found though, that it's okay to go 2 or 3 days without washing my hair. That was something I'd never have considered before finding this site. And by following that advice, I've discovered that I can do second and third day hair, and it actually looks better - and curlier - than on the first day. And the amount of frizz seems to lessen each day until I no-poo or co-wash again.

So a huge thank you to all who've posted here. Your comments have been both liberating and inspiring. And it's been such a relief to find others with the same hair challenges as I have.
lucyprimrose likes this.
I have found though, that it's okay to go 2 or 3 days without washing my hair. That was something I'd never have considered before finding this site. And by following that advice, I've discovered that I can do second and third day hair, and it actually looks better - and curlier - than on the first day.
Originally Posted by Serq
I've found that, too!
Previously Joy4ever.
Changed because the "number in place of a word" thing was bugging my no-longer-14-year-old self.
Chelle: this thread was bumped because of a thread I started about why I hate my hair.
Chelle: this thread was bumped because of a thread I started about why I hate my hair.
Originally Posted by csb
Oh, now I get it, I thought maybe something bad happened to you that I didn't know about......glad to hear you're ok I can't remember but it seems that we were talking a long time ago and have similar hair?

Chelle
kaykre likes this.
2a?, using MOP C system hydrating poo, Elucence conditioner, B&A Biomineral gel......off and on results....rely most on my curling iron for help
We do. In fact, you might be interested in a cute haircut that was recommneded to me on one of my recent threads. I'm trying to remember the title to it...
Oh, it is in the "Why I hate my hair" post. Alexis Bledel's haircut is a cute long wavy cut. My hair isn't quite long enough to get the complete effect, but I intend to take the picture to the stylist in Atlanta and start over. If I remember correctly, Chelle, your hair is plenty long enough for this cut. What's your current routine?
I so understand about the overconditioning. I've noticed that the CG method works for me as long as I don't wash or condition my hair. My scalp loves a little condish and tea tree oil.

Water washing is great. I am trying to only "wash" my scalp once a week. If I need to "clarify" with a gentle shampoo I will do it. Right now my hair looks great.

Thanks for bumping this thread.
My hair is a mix of 2b/3a and even a bit of 3b thrown in! I would call my hair wavycelli. It curls most when I leave it alone after wet scrunching. My hair has a spring factor of about 2 or 3 inches and has a very silky, medium texture.
I'm so glad to have found this thread. I've had wash-and-wear 2" long hair for five years and when I went to 3", I needed a straightening iron to look like a sane person. Back then, I had a job, I needed to look like a grownup and I loved my straightening iron very, very much. But my hair has always been wavy - even my baby pictures show waves, not curls.

It took me many years decide wavy hair is okay for me and I can live with it. But that's after thinning, texutrizing, perming, straightening, and then realizing that the reason it was taking so long to grow my hair out was that they had to cut out the damage from the straightening iron. The heat stylers went in the drawer that day and don't come out unless it's a definite emergency. I'm a full time volunteer and I work from home, so it's not like anyone sees the lobbyist/fundraiser they're speaking with, you know? I even wear bunny slippers to complete the stereotype.

Right now I'm in this horrible cycle of obtaining and discarding products that seem to work for everybody but me - seriously, even Jessicurl styling products left me with flat, lifeless hair. The MOP-C system left me hair so dry it felt like straw and a horribly itchy scalp. So I tried the California Baby line - made for babies and little kids, light and gentle, right? Not so much, on my head. Shampooing too often - or these days, at all - with the CB gives me itchy-head, which is something I hope to solve with this Paves Sulfate-Free Shampoo that I just picked up. I am hoping, hoping, hoping that there's just something in some of these shampoos I'm allergic to (I've been through three) and I'll figure it out by process of elimination. Before I worried about cones and sulfates and parabens and tortured my hair daily, my scalp didn't seem to care what I did - and suddenly it's got an opinion on everything!

Another problem is the overconditioning. For years and years I was under the impression that I had thick hair - mostly from stylists who'd say "oh, hey, thick Irish waves!" and come at me with thinning shears. After my first trip to a curly-positive stylist here in Chicago, I discovered that I had a whole lot of fine hair that was easily weighed down by conditioner or products, and that my hair isn't dry. I had read the CG list of approved conditioners and not realized that some of those are very heavy and not appropriate for my hair - especially since I'm not, technically, a curly girl. My husband is being quite sweet about the fact that these products keep sort of flying in and out of the house - I have friends with thick/curly/dry/oily hair that can actually use what I pick up, so it never goes to waste, and what doesn't go to my friends gets swapped. My problem now is avoiding overconditioning and not dragging my waves out while still giving my hair some kind of wash - water-only isn't a solution, sadly, since Chicago's horribly hard water is part of the problem I have with my hair. Plus, I confess to being a recovering product junkie who doesn't feel like I'm "done" until my hair is covered in gunk - probably a holdover from my straightening-iron days, when I tried to protect my hair from 300F directly-applied heat with a conditioning spray. Hah.

On the plus (?!) side, my hair is seven inches long from crown to tip - barely to my earlobes - so I've got plenty of time to try things out and see if they work before anyone but me can notice a difference. It's an almost daily struggle to not go back to the stylist and say "I give up. Let's go back to the bootcamp cut." but one thing is stopping me. After fifteen years of being together, my husband said "You know, I really liked your long hair, back when you had that in college." The first time he expressed a preference for anything related to my hair ever. And since I've got the time and I've got the privacy to look like a lunatic, why not?

The process right now is no shampoo if I can avoid it, and CO wash with Suave Naturals Aloe. Then I spritz some Aubrey leave-in/detangler and leave it be - the Aubrey line was too heavy for my hair, but the spray-ins are nice and light. Then I push it all back in a bandana or pin it up in a barette and pretend it doesn't exist. That is, if I don't futz around with Marc Anthony curl defining lotion (didn't work) and the Noodlehead line from Sally's (did work in terms of creating curls by scrunching, but made my hair all weird and sticky and I woke up to find one the cats licking my hair after I'd used it, so that one's a definite no) or the Tresemme curl lotion or whatever else I stumble across. Some days I'm able to resist the siren call of styling products, and some days they suck me right in.

I'm realizing that the Suave Aloe is probably overconditioning my hair, because it's soft and nearly straight and my waves are all gone, and I need to look for something lighter to try. Woefully, I have no idea what to try. I'd tried Kiehl's in tiny bottles, long ago, and liked that - would anyone recommend that for a wavy? We've got a Kiehl's here, not far from where I live, and I've considered going in and having them poke at my head. Seriously - I am completely open to suggestions, here, since my cupboard full of products appears to be doing nothing but dragging out my waves and giving me an itchy scalp.

The problem is (I think) that I have is a normal head of hair and a dry scalp that stops short of dandruff. I do not want to subject my hair to the indignities of shampoo and conditioner for dry hair when, in fact, my hair is not dry. It's formerly dry, back when I was a punk-rock bleach blonde, but now I'm starting as I mean to go on and taking care of my hair at 7" with the hopes that it will eventually get to 20" or so. I have learned to make my own oils and give myself nightly head massages with them - and by the way, my hair managed to grow from 5" crown to tip to 7" crown to tip in about 1.5 months, so I'm going to keep up the massaging and the birch essential oil in the mix - but getting out the oil does seem to require shampoo. Which, sadly, my scalp currently hates.
Tomorrow I try the Paves shampoo, which I have heard good things about. I plan to try a teensy bit of the Suave Naturals, rather than glopping it on, and resist the siren call of the products that promise to make me curly. I know they lie. It's just such an attractive thought - to have one, definite hair type!
Finally, eastcoast, you inspire me, and I hope to one day have enough hair to put in a ponytail on a frizzy day. At the moment, I have a baseball hat, and that will have to do.
Not curly, but wavy. Learning to love it.
Valiantly attempting to become a product minimalist.
What a wonderful thread! Sometimes, as i am more wavy than curly, I feel like a fraud on this site. It's nice to know that there are others out there in the same boat. My hair will curl up really easily though with product. I can definitely relate to the whole schizophrenic thing. The worst are the days when my hair dries practically straight. Even though my hair is so thick, on those days it is hard to coax any curl. Our needs and wants often go unnoticed. You hear all sorts of advice on straight and curly hair, but very little on wavy hair. And I find the few tips on wavy hair to be quite laughable. For instance, I can't tell you how many times I have heard that wavy hair tends to be shiny. Now for some people, that may be the truth, but for most people I know, they have the thick frizzy dull waves like me. It's frustrating that our hair is in the middle. It is also though the most wanted hair. I am really lucky that I can easily go straight or go curly if wanted to. Those with fine stick straight hair have to perm to go curly. And those with very curly hair have to relax even to get wavy. So there are benefits to being a wavy. And despite all the frustrations, I still want my waves and curls.
3A/2C combination of ringlets and waves

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