I just can't keep up with my undecisive hair!

Ok, I have been obsessed with this site for long enough, and my hair has gotten to the point where I can no longer just search through all the threads to try and solve it's problems. So here is its story.
For 23 years it was very curly...3b I'd say. Luckily during that time my parents paid for all of my millions of hair product and stylinbg tool trials. So after all that time I had finally discovered my technique for achieving good looking hair. Then, maybe due to a birth control change but who knows, for five months my hair turned basically striaght. not shower and go straight, just not curly and considerably easier to coax into a sleek, straight look. But now....now it is sort of inbetween. It is no longer easy and quick to straighten, but it is definately not the curly hair I used to know so well.
Oh and of course when it was straight I decided I could finally go for a cute shorter do. So now it is about shoulder length, sort of wavy but with straight ends and corkscrew curls for the shorter hairs at my temples. I have absolutely no clue how to deal with it.
I have already spent way too much time and money trying to experiement and what I am currently going with is this: shampoo a few times a week, deep condition constantly, once outta the shower put hair in tshirt to take away some moisture, add 2 pumps TIGI egoboost leave in conditioner, add 1 pump sunsilk captivating curls gel cream, scrunch a little, airdry.
Here are my problems: I am sick to death of having to go places, such as work, with either wet hair in hopes that once it drys it will magically look good or else having diffused it to frizzy terrible results and having had to curl most of it with a curling iron. It doesn't look like me with it straight- i am a curly girl at heart. I just really would LOVE some help in figuring out what I am doing wrong with this hair and how i can successfully dry it in under an hour. PLEASE help...I am so confused and frustrated with my hair's undecisiveness!!
Hello and welcome! Your curls might be revitalized if you try the curly girl method of no sulfates and silicones. I think there's a good sticky about specifics in the shampoo-less board. Reading Lorraine Massey's Curly Girl book is helpful.

I air dry my hair too. Diffusing makes it poofy and frizzy. It takes almost 4 hours to dry completely. I have gotten used to going out with wet hair--even in NYC winters. I think of myself as "the girl with the wet hair."
You know, even through all my years of reading the posts on this site religiously i never thought to research the no poo method. haha. I just figured it meant don't shampoo. I didn't realize how much more there was to it! Thank you so much for pointing that out to me...i'll definately have to give it a serious try!
And I may just have to buckle down and buy that book...and openly admit to my curly hair obsession. I think its time.
Guess I'm just destined for a life of being the girl with the wet hair at the start of everyday. At least I know I am not alone now!
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ok. so i just ran to rite aid to pick up some new supplies after going through all of my millions of products to discover that none of them met the no poo standards. i picked up some suave strawberry conditioner and herbal essences totally twisted gel and am officially starting my first day of no poo. here's to hoping!
Hair that freely borrows from 3a/ 3b texture schools. These are the things I use to care for it:
  • Apple Cider Vinegar rinses weekly
  • shampoos occasionally that do not contain sulfates
  • conditioners without silicones or proteins (or so I think- Keratin seems to do ok)
  • Flour sack towel
And I dont even know what else right now...thinking I may need to drop gels altogether...


Currently have Shea Moisture and DevaCurl products that I may just need to give up on and cut as a loss...

Last edited by summersOVER; 07-26-2008 at 11:00 AM.
Don't forget to clarify first, or you won't get good results. The cones need to be removed from your hair before you can truly start CG. Good luck!

Annie
Modified-CG, 2c, slightly protein-sensitive, color-treated

LA County, SoCal - Cool and some humidity FINALLY
Liking: Suave co-washes, LVPHG, homemade curl cream and DT
Loving: KCKT/KCCC/HESMU, Biolage, K-Pak reconstructor, SheaM
ok...so i am not totally sure about what i am doing wrong or if i am doing things right...
so i clarified- i think. i used the degunkify shampoo on my roots. is that enough or do i need to clarify using the apple cider vinegar or something?
secondly, i have been leaving my hair completely alone for an hour while the gel is in it...but then i get scared that it is going to dry looking like that- hard and crunchy and in chunk things with no volume in the top. so it is at this time that i have been freaking out and running my fingers through it. will it actually look good and like real dry hair if i don't touch it for like three hours? real dry hair with volume? or does this mean i am using too much gel? or am i applying it incorrectly (finger combing it in while dripping wet and then scrunching it in a t-shirt)?
oh, and p.s. io cant thank you guys enough for your input!!! i was hesitant to finally post something because i thought no one would respond- like if i threw a huge party or something and feared no one would show up. so thank you so much for responding...and with super helpful advice non the less!!
Hair that freely borrows from 3a/ 3b texture schools. These are the things I use to care for it:
  • Apple Cider Vinegar rinses weekly
  • shampoos occasionally that do not contain sulfates
  • conditioners without silicones or proteins (or so I think- Keratin seems to do ok)
  • Flour sack towel
And I dont even know what else right now...thinking I may need to drop gels altogether...


Currently have Shea Moisture and DevaCurl products that I may just need to give up on and cut as a loss...

Last edited by summersOVER; 07-27-2008 at 10:22 PM.
I clarified with a sodium laureth sulfate shampoo before starting CG. Use it all over, not just the roots because you want to get all silicone remnants out of your hair. Follow with a moisturizing conditioner, then whatever product you choose (gel, mousse, curl creme). Make sure everything you use is cone-free.

You have to experiment with how much gel your hair needs to look its best. I have thick hair that's collarbone length and I use a heaping tablespoon or so. It's almost a palm full.

Don't touch your hair while it's drying because that will give you frizz. I just deal with the unattractive gelled look because I know it will look good once I scrunch it out. I'm not the only person walking around with un-scrunched gel in her hair; I see other curly girls doing the same thing. That's comforting to me--I feel like less of a freak.

Hope this helps.
Welcome!

I also have hair with a real mix of inconsistent waves and spirals in it, depending on the day, and the advice you're getting about styling is good advice. The not touching while drying part is really key. It's so hard to do this, but I've found that if I stay away from mirrors, I can pull it off. (Tucking the hair gently behind my ears helps make it look neater, too, although this may disrupt the spirals near your face slightly).

So far, I've been amazed at how, when I start scrunching, my hair goes into a shape that seems "right." It's like I have to let the hair tell me what is going to look right, rather than me forcing it to be a particular way. I used to fuss with it constantly, raking my fingers through it and adding more product all day long, even though I knew that just made things more frizzy!

I've only been trying modified CG for 2 weeks now (gradually decreasing how often I use no-sulfate shampoo), but I'm already finding that I have fewer crazy hair days. My hair changes more from day to day, and does things I'm not always expecting (so be prepared for that), but it tends to look "right" rather than forced and distorted into an odd unflattering shape.

Good luck -- I hope it works for you too!

Wurly and proud!
Modified CG since 2008.
ok, so i checked on the shampoo i have and it is a sodium laureth sulfate shampoo, so thats good. i'll use it on all my hair and then start this whole cg thing over i suppose. when i read about the no po thing it sounded like gel was the only thing that you were supposed to use. i really have never liked gel before, although because it and mousse applied to wet hair always made my hair look crunchy. maybe i'm just not waiting long enough.
Hair that freely borrows from 3a/ 3b texture schools. These are the things I use to care for it:
  • Apple Cider Vinegar rinses weekly
  • shampoos occasionally that do not contain sulfates
  • conditioners without silicones or proteins (or so I think- Keratin seems to do ok)
  • Flour sack towel
And I dont even know what else right now...thinking I may need to drop gels altogether...


Currently have Shea Moisture and DevaCurl products that I may just need to give up on and cut as a loss...

Last edited by summersOVER; 07-28-2008 at 10:20 AM.
so two questions:
what drugstore product (gel, mousse, or curl creme) does everyone find works best with this routine?
and how do i know when it is time that i start scrunching out the crunch without adding frizz to drying hair? it always feels dry to me until i start scrunching and then it is too late.
Hair that freely borrows from 3a/ 3b texture schools. These are the things I use to care for it:
  • Apple Cider Vinegar rinses weekly
  • shampoos occasionally that do not contain sulfates
  • conditioners without silicones or proteins (or so I think- Keratin seems to do ok)
  • Flour sack towel
And I dont even know what else right now...thinking I may need to drop gels altogether...


Currently have Shea Moisture and DevaCurl products that I may just need to give up on and cut as a loss...

Last edited by summersOVER; 07-28-2008 at 10:20 AM.
I am utterly astounded.
So yesterday I go on this site looking at posts about no po not working for people...or taking a long time to work...or having to be altered a ton through trial and error...and i was starting to wonder if no po really was for me.
then on top of everything i decided to permanently dye my hair with loreal excellence creme. so i do that, then ignoring my gut feeling that it was probably a terrible idea...immediatly after using the post coloring conditioner, i quickly used my clarifying shampoo and then an intensive no cones conditioner.
then i squeezed out a lot of the water, scrunched in a fair amount of my gel, scrunched and plopped my hair into a tshirt, then took that down and scrunched in a wee bit more gel...and then didnt touch for about an hour and a half...then scrunched...and VOILA!!! A MIRACLE!!! my hair looked better today than it has in about 9 months (at least!!) and felt better than it has EVER felt in my life. although i did have a tiny amount of frizz from doing the final scrunch a bit too soon- so i will wait two hours tomorrow. i am still in utter disbelief that such a simple routine got such wonderful results for me!! As my hair has kind of stopped curling on its own so much lately, it just needed some scrunching in the beginning in order to get some curl back into it...so i hope that this play by play helps someone...because i have no one except for the wonderful people here at nc.com to thank for my renewed appreciation for my crazy hair.
Hair that freely borrows from 3a/ 3b texture schools. These are the things I use to care for it:
  • Apple Cider Vinegar rinses weekly
  • shampoos occasionally that do not contain sulfates
  • conditioners without silicones or proteins (or so I think- Keratin seems to do ok)
  • Flour sack towel
And I dont even know what else right now...thinking I may need to drop gels altogether...


Currently have Shea Moisture and DevaCurl products that I may just need to give up on and cut as a loss...

Last edited by summersOVER; 07-30-2008 at 08:53 AM.
There NOTHING better than finding a great routine!!! Sooooooo happy for you!!! I think we're related because your hair sounds just like mine. What gel did you use to achieve these amazing results?? (If you don't mind sharing)
It is an absolutely wonderful feeling... however ...haha, there is always something. So now I am just eagerly awaiting my hair grow out and struggling with my bangs. Although I don't really mind having to pin them up everyday. Give me an inch and I'll take a mile or something i guess.
I have been using Herbal Essences Totally Twisted gel- which is super awersome because it is super cheap!! It does have a cone in it, but it is PEG 12 something and the internet told me that that is a water soluble cone and is therefore ok. I believe!!!
Do you currently have a working regiment?!
Hair that freely borrows from 3a/ 3b texture schools. These are the things I use to care for it:
  • Apple Cider Vinegar rinses weekly
  • shampoos occasionally that do not contain sulfates
  • conditioners without silicones or proteins (or so I think- Keratin seems to do ok)
  • Flour sack towel
And I dont even know what else right now...thinking I may need to drop gels altogether...


Currently have Shea Moisture and DevaCurl products that I may just need to give up on and cut as a loss...

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