I understand your pain/
How to Detangle- get a paddle brush (google it) they sell them everywhere and they are cheap. Get conditioner. Put the conditioner in your wet hair, and comb from bottom to top. It takes me 2 mins to comb out my hair
To Style: If you want to wear it down, drop all the gel. There are TONS of products for biracial/ curly hair. I used a leave in-conditioner (which is for styling curly hair) called Mixed Chicks. Its 20$ a bottle, sadly and they sell it at target. If thats to much, there is another leave-in called Mixed Silk, which is sold at sallys for 10$. Make sure your products are targeted to YOUR hair, and has no alcohol. Target has sooo many products for out type hair.... Shea Moister (Curl enhancing smoothie for thick curly hair), Curls, Mixed Chicks, etc. When you put these products in your hair, you need to section your hair out and put a good amount from your roots to the end of your hair, let it air dry, while its air drying DO NOT TOUCH! Or it will make your hair huge and frizzy,
How to keep it healthy- Buy a deep conditioner, which is diff from reg condtioner, and leave in conditioner. It repairs and strengthens hair. Deep condtion once a week.
Good luck, hope this helped