CurlTalk - View Single Post - This whole thread should be put in the Hall of Shame!

curlyhoneyb · 08-23-2012, 03:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adthomas

I agree with your points. The only thing i dont like about these kinds of posts is that it makes it seem like the bashing is a one way street and the permies are the sweet innocents and we naturals are the meanies. Truth is permies have been bashing naturals for the longest and I didnt see anybody getting up on a soapbox to tell them to respect our decision or to stop the criticism or not call us nappy heads, buckwheat, bb shots, brillo pad and whatever else they can think up. Some of us are still going through this with our families who offer no support just insults. For most people especially black women going natural means develping a thick skin. So excuse me if my heart doesnt bleed for some chick with a perm who got her feelings hurt. Tell her to grow a pair like we do and dont gaf what everybody else thinks. My 2 cents

I couldn't agree more! My hair is still relaxed (tried to make the switch to natural but I just couldn't do it) but you are right.

I've never really had a woman with natural hair be mean to me because my hair is relaxed. It is mostly the ones with straight hair (whether naturally straight or flat-ironed/chemically straightened) that have something rude to say if my edges are a bit fuzzy or if my hair isn't perfectly straight.

My mother is 56 and she still relaxes her hair too...she wasn't thrilled when I told her I wanted to be natural. I believe it stems from internalized racism and society's notion that straight hair="pretty hair" . I don't want to get too deep with this, but you definitely hit home when you said that it involves developing a thick skin. I've been called nappy-headed and told that my hair is ugly all my life, even with a perm, and I've heard racist comments about my hair.

So although I'm not natural yet, I want to thank you for this post. It goes both ways. I believe that some naturals do get a bit carried away, but I think this is partly because they are trying to resist the negativity that seems to come from everyone, including family. They just go about it the wrong way sometimes. But I'm with you, it can definitely be a struggle to feel beautiful when society constantly pushes straight hair as "ideal" and when people tell you that your hair is "bad" or ugly.

And for the ladies who still relax (I'm one of them), it is our choice to do so but I would never bash a natural sista because I know how it feels. I admire the beauty and confidence of women with natural hair, especially since I know that they are bucking the norm and setting their own standards. I will admit, that was my biggest fear when I wanted to go natural...I was afraid of what others would think.

I say to each her own. It's like anything else, really. Women without breast implants tend to bash/judge those that have them, women who wear overly sexy clothes are often judged by those that are more conservative, etc....the only difference is that Black women's hair has become a somewhat divisive topic because people make it political.

But you definitely speak the truth.