Personally, I would go ahead with the appointment, to get some of the damage cut off and have a professional give me some advice and assistance. Yes, both hormones and gray hair can have an effect on your curls. Gray hair is typically coarser (though my mother went from medium to baby fine when she went gray), and hormonal changes can be unpredictable. Hope you get good advice and assistance.
Experimenting with too many products to name here. All this great info keeps my head spinning.