It is so weird seeing somebody all the time and then they turn up dead. I feel sad, but at the same time I'm still glad it wasn't my turn. It's like there is a sense of relief, because I know I'm going to get my mine and be just as dead as everybody else eventually, but it's somebody else for now. I haven't had anybody close to me die in a long time, so I feel like I'm desensitized to it. I could not imagine what people are going through losing children and parents, even close friends. Its easy to thunk that way with strangers and acquaintances, but I'm sure knowing you are still alive isn't going to take away that kind of hurt with someone you care about.