I am a cat magnet. They love me. In my 37 years on earth I have only known one that did not. She belonged to my childhood friends Aunt Rosie. We would often spend a week or two with her, in Virginia (just outside of DC), during the summer. She liked no one other than her owner. Her name was Crystal, Abyssinian was her breed, and horrible was her nature. I tried several times to makes friends with this cat, and had many scratches and bite marks to prove it. One day I thought I had finally cracked her little wall. She jumped up on the edge of the bathtub, let me pet her, looked at me very sweetly, and then puked in the tub.

I hated that *%€!?+! cat.
When I hear terms like "hipster" I think, who told cliques they could leave high school??