Person: "Are you bringing back the man perms of the 70s and 80s?"

Me (dumbfounded): "Yeah, I'm going spend money to get my hair to do something it'll do on its own. When hell freezes over."

Person: "I can picture you under a dryer with curlers."

Me (sarcastic grin): "I would never do that but at least I still have hair to do with if I wanted."