The history is that my exhsband has an older sister w/ whom I've NEVER gotten along. (I aways got along fine w/ his brothers and their wives.)
The sister is about 6 years older than my exhusband and never married and never had an kids. She is unattractive and overbearing...probably why she doesn't date, either.
When I met my exhusbnd, he used to take his sister out to the movies every friday night and pay for everything and drive, etc. This had ben going on for years. I always found it odd but I didn't object to it per se, but I did get very annoyed about it on two occasions shortly before we got married.
Things btwn the sister and me got pretty bad and she told him not to marry me and also refused to watch our 3 y/o at the last minute when I went into labor w/ our younger child bc she was mad at me.
Eventually, the tension put distance btwn my exhusband and his sister and they didn't see each other much during the latter part of our marriage.
Now we're divorcing and he and his sister are close again and she is taking an interest in my kids. And I have absolutely no problem w/ that.
Except that she does things to undermine me.
My kids take swimming classes on Sunday evenings. She has asked my exhd to bring them by her house afterward so she can wash their hair. (Not sure why.)
This makes them late coming home and late going to bed but I try to overlook it.
I use Elucence shampoo and conditioner (and Elucence Clarifying for the chlorine) on my daughter and I send some over to my exhd's house, too, so he can use it on her. After years of experimentation, I just find it works the best.
But my former SIL, who has been balding for many years and just shaves her hair off like a man, insists upon using other products on my daughter's hair...and pressing it after the washing.
I've told my daughter to ask her aunt to plz use what I've provided and let it dry naturally (no direct heat).
But my former SIL is telling my daughter that she knows more about hair than I do and that I don't know what hair is supposed to feel like. She says Elucence are "adult" products and therefore inappropriate for her. She is almost 8!!!
IDK what products she is using on my daughter and will not tell my daughter what they are.
I haven't spoken to her in years and we are not on friendly terms, so it's not like I can just nonchallantly call her up and ask her to use the Elucence. I doubt it would be received well.
My daughter has very dry brittle hair and the weekly swimming lessons don't help. So I am trying to baby it w/ the best products I can find. (She has their hair...)
I'm starting to feel violent and assaultive. Someone plz talk me down!!!