While it's understandable that this woman wants to maintain a relationship with your kids, there is no need for her to do basic hygiene with them. If she refuses to use the products you provide for your daughter's hair and won't lay off the heat, she doesn't get the right to do her hair anymore. Period. If your daughter's hair gets heat damage or gets extremely brittle, that woman doesn't sound like she'd have a clue on how to nurse it back to health. She can see the kids before they go swimming. Or on Saturday.
Fine haired, low density, highly porous curly kinky lady
Last relaxer: Not sure. 3/08 or 4/08
Co-wash: Suave Naturals, HEHH, Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle, CJ Daily Fix
Leave-In: KCKT, Giovanni Direct Leave-In, CJ Smoothing Lotion
Stylers: ORS Twist and Loc Gel, KCCC, Ecostyler, SheaMoisture Deep Treatment Masque
Deep Conditioner: DevaCurl Heaven In Hair, CJ Deep Fix