I can't prevent her from seeing my kids, unfortunately.

When they are w/ their father, he calls the shots.

I can't prevent her from washing my daughter's hair or using her choice of shampoo.

The idea about telling him they are coming home too late is a good one! That may be my only option.

I don't think she will honor my wishes if I call and ask (that's putting it mildly). I can try but I worry it will lead to a lot of backlash.

Has anyone run into a similar situation?
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG