Thank you all for your responses... I had to sleep on it, get away from my computer, and not even look in a mirror. Haven't left the house today either.
But I haven't cut my hair off or run to the store (mainly because I look like a crazy person), I haven't made a hair appointment (cause I can't afford it), and I haven't renounced being natural.
I still don't know what it is that I'm doing (why I'm natural, why I'm a slave to this crap), but I'm not going to do anything major to my hair before figuring it out.