It just seems really petty to mock on her looks. You probably wouldn't have done that if the situation involved an unattractive male relative. Gods forbid if a woman dares to be ugly...it makes the world hate her. I suspect that you used that descriptor to color your story.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
What difference does it make? Color the story. Don't color the story. Who cares? You don't know her and it's tangential to the rant.

I really try not to judge womens' child status based on my life choice to be a mother. There are many women (many of them here on this board) who are perfectly happy being childfree and it really bothers them that the world seems to want to blame everything about them on that childfree status. It's a very sexist attitude.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
That's wonderful for you. But I happen to think it is related to the story bc this particular woman has a very strong interest in "mothering" her neice and nephews, even when she oversteps the real mothers' boundaries. Not just mine, but her other two SILs too.

So, yes, ANYWAY...I know it's really an issue btwn me and my exhd but that doesn't make it any easier to address.
Originally Posted by spiderlashes5000

The she's-an-ugly-mama-wannabe just makes you look petty. And maybe that pettiness is flavoring your argument with the husband. Perhaps if you back off his sister and just address him, without trying to control what he's doing with the kids and his sister while they're in his care, he'll be more amenable to your request that he take better care of their hair and get them home on time on school nights.

Unless you want to take this hair issue to court, I think trying to get him to cooperate might serve you better.
Originally Posted by RedCatWaves
There's nothing for me to "back off" of. I haven't mentioned this to my exhd or his sister. Any pettiness I may or may not be engaging in, is limited to this board.

I just talked to my daughter about it twice. The first time I said, "make sure you bring the hair products I gave you with you to auntie's house so she can use them on you."

And the second time, I asked my daughter if her aunt used the producs I gave her. And my daughter said, "I asked her to but she said 'I've been around the block a few times and I know how to wash hair. Just like your mother can wash hair, I can wash hair, too. Those products are for adults; these (hers) are better for you'."

And then my daughter said after her hair was washed, dried and pressed, her aunt said, "See, this is how your hair is supposd to feel."

I haven't brought it up yet to my exhusband. And I have not and probably would not to my SIL bc we haven't spoken in 5 years.

I will probably mention it to him in an email I'm sending to him today about our holiday visitation schedule.

But I'm not holding out much hope...it seems like a fight I can't win...hence the rant/vent here.
3b (with 3c tendencies) on modified CG


Last edited by spiderlashes5000; 10-11-2012 at 09:42 AM.