Gels have various types of hold. You could try a lighter holding gel. I've found HETT to dry soft. CJCQ also is something I would call a soft hold but other women have written that they get crunchy hair with it. The jelly products Kathymac is talking about were some of the worst I had tried but that's not to say that they won't work for you. I'm sorry to tell you that the only way to find out is to try, everyones hair is different so you'll have to try different products to see. What are you using now and what have you tried?
Deiced how much you're willing to money and effort you're willing to spend and start experimenting! Thankfully anything expensive tends to go quickly on swaps, they're are also a great way to try something new. HTH