I'm astonished by the amount of replies on this post as well as the immense support and concern you showed for me and this issue, and the personal stories of similar hurtful experiences. I appreciate them all. Actually, I have no other relatives really to talk to; my friends think its crazy but no one else sees the bigger picture except all of you.

My father is a wonderful man. I admit I portrayed him in a negative light in all most posts and I agree his behavior is questionable, he does love me very much and I just don't think he realizes(or refuses to see) the subtext behind his demands.!I am the quintessential "daddy's little girl"- I never really have any problems with him. And i know they're just trying to be the best parents they can be. And I know I don't know everything, and that parents are supposed to be controlling, but some parents are just overprotective and smothering-but what can you do, you just have to deal with it until you're 18 right? What I'm trying to get at here (sorry for the life story haha I'm not trying to gain sympathy or anything) is that while my parents are extremely controlling, it does come from a place of love and I don't feel like its abusive. This one incident with my father is out of character and over the line; but I just want to make it clear to the counselor here that he is not an emotional abuser or anything, just a parent trying to navigate his way to parenting a teenager for the first time, and he doesn't know or refuses to acknowledge that he makes mistakes or crosses a line.

I think Jas76 said something that really opened my eyes: "Punishment is valid and important for parents to use as needed with their children. But to punish behavior, not appearance. It shouldn't be used as a manipulative tool to get one's way on this type of issue." I feel he is doing this and I will bring up this point because it is so so true.

The only reason I don't want to wear an updo is not because of compromise, it's just that I don't like how my face looks when I wear my hair up (LOL). I want to wear it down either way because thats the way i like to wear it. I am just choosing to wear it curly as a stance that I am no longer complying to ridiculous demands and that I'm fed up with being controlled so much.

This turned into such a deeply personal thread! Thank you all for your input; I know I should probably talk to him but I just can't deal with it all right now. I'm such a passive and typically obedient person, so this little "rebell against injustice" thing is all new to me and nerve wracking, even if it is something so trivial as my hairstyle
2c/3a, fine texture, normal porosity, medium-to-thick
Co wash: Vo5 Extra Body
Conditioners: Deva One Condition, GVP CB, Loreal Evercurl
Stylers: Devacurl ArcAngel, KCCC, AG Recoil, Iso Bouncy Creme, Ecostyler Krystal, CCCCL, KCKT
Low Poo: Devacurl NoPoo, GTTT
Hair likes: plopping, diffusing, SMaster's, coconut and argan oil, honey, protein
"What makes a woman unforgettable? Her mind...surrounded by lots of naturally curly hair"

Last edited by Wavyshibby; 11-27-2012 at 05:01 PM.