Yeah, Wavy? I think that is just him trying to take a different approach to manipulating. The permit didn't work, so a guilt trip might. If he plays on your emotions, he might get his way.
You need to blow that off. This should not be that big of a deal to him. If he will truly "always remember this", he has some issues to work through. I honesty believe that he's layin it on thick, and this is just another manipulative tool.
Let me let you in on a little secret here - parents make mistakes, and are imperfect.
I'm sure your dad loves you, I'm sure he's likely a great father. I didn't mean to say he was abusive on any general level. I certainly don't have any information to make a call there. What I CAN say is that THIS specific behavior is borderline abusive. It's possible this is the only instance of it. But certainly this instance is controlling, manipulative, selfish, and yes - borders on abusive. It is certainly disproportionate, inappropriate, and out of line. And sends a terrible message.
I think those of us who grew up with situations like this, many of which you've heard on here, know how this can effect someone. I have dealt with my own after-effects of these types of messages from my parents, and I have seen many young girls go through situations, as well.
It really can take only one instance to do some damage. I think we are all hoping to minimize this for you.
Again, I'm sure your father loves you and is a good man. But this is a bad thing he's doing.
One more thing - I'm proud of the way you've handled this! And you are incredibly well-spoken for someone do young!! Your dad doesn't know how good he has it!!
Ps - curls do NOT = informal.
If he wants more formal, perhaps you can pull it half up and leave the back down, or pull the back up and leave tendrils down... There are lots of ways to do formal with curls. Just a thought!
Of course if you prefer all down - DO IT!!