I think both look good. Perhaps though if you tweaked the routine a bit your husband would come around. He seems to be objecting to the "pieciness" of it. If you try lighter conditioners or gels or mousses (or whatever), you may still get the definition you love and it'll look less greasy to your husband. I went through phases where I had more definition, but definitely looked greasy and it took some time to find the right routine. My wavy curls are loose and I have to be careful using products on it.
But your husband reminds me of mine a bit. When he first found out that I wasn't using shampoo on our 5 year old daughter he nearly marched her right upstairs and did it himself. He's come around now. He's a curly guy himself and although I haven't convinced him to give up on shampoo, he has learned to use leave-ins and to never brush his hair. Both his and our daughter's hair has never looked so good!
Closet wavy...trying to decide if I want to come out.