View Single Post
Old 12-06-2012, 11:24 AM   #44
LadyV69
 
LadyV69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,442
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by geeky View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by jeepcurlygurl View Post
So what is the actual point of the 'study'? Men and women shouldn't be friends? Men can't be trusted to control their feelings? My male friend of nearly 50 years will eventually come on to me because he just can't help it?
What about lesbians? Will my lesbian girlfriend of 40 years one day come on to me too?
I just have to disagree. I find it normal and easy to have friends of the opposite sex, with no sexual feelings whatsoever.
Seriously.

I am attracted to both men and women. I guess I should not have any friends at all since I am going to try to jump all of them. Oh wait, only men are supposed to have sexual feelings so I am safe.

This is all BS. I do agree that there is the potential for sexual attraction in any relationship. But just because there is the potential and just because an actual attraction pops up does not mean people have to act on it. If I had acted on every attraction, no matter how momentary and passing, I ever had, then I really would have jumped 85% of all people I know.
I can agree that people don't have to act on their attraction to every person they deem as such. However, I think male privilege can also get in the way and can prevent men and women from being in truly platonic relationships because men generally feel that they are entitled to sex whenever they want, without any regard for the woman's needs or feelings. I also think it mainly explains why women have an easier time being friends with men they aren't necessarily attracted to, since we aren't supposed to have sexual needs. A situation I was in just last weekend is illustrative of the struggle I have with the issue.

I went to a birthday party for an acquaintance's daughter. It was at a karoake bar. I chatted with one guy there for awhile. I thought he was nice, but not dating or boyfriend material. Personally, I think he might be a good friend, but that's all. He gave me a business card. I didn't give him my number. I haven't called him because I don't want to send mixed signals. I don't want him to make more of it than I am and actually want to date me, when I don't want the same thing. I'm beginning to think it's way easier to be friends with men when you're younger as there is isn't as much pressure. Once people are in their 30's or 40's, they tend to feel more pressure to marry and/or have children and they tend to think platonic relationships are a waste of time.
__________________
Fine haired, low density, highly porous curly kinky lady
Last relaxer: Not sure. 3/08 or 4/08
BC'd: 9/18/09
Co-wash: Suave Naturals, HEHH, Trader Joe's Tea Tree Tingle, CJ Daily Fix
Leave-In: KCKT, Giovanni Direct Leave-In, CJ Smoothing Lotion
Stylers: ORS Twist and Loc Gel, KCCC, Ecostyler, SheaMoisture Deep Treatment Masque
Deep Conditioner: DevaCurl Heaven In Hair, CJ Deep Fix

http://confessionsofladyv69.wordpress.com/
LadyV69 is offline   Reply With Quote