oh hunny i am so sorry and believe me when i saw i feel for you
i've been trying to grow my hair out for years. in march of this year i wound up going to a different hair stylist (i had an opportunity to go somewhere expensive for free. i thought this was a good idea) I said no layers and he ignored!! i lost some length but the layers didn't even fall correctly- sounds so similar to what you are explaining. they just kind of hang there awkwardly and my longest parts look scraggly and weird. i was so frustrated!!
then i needed a trim in sept bc i'm prone to split ends so when i went to my usual girl of over a year, instea of trimming she somehow made those stupid layers even worse!!! i'm pretty sure my sides aren't even now and they just hand awkward and annoy the crap out of me.
sorry to hear you are going through this. but i can certainly relate. i wish i can give you better advice.
scalp massage 2-3nights a week with stimulating growth oils seems to be helping my hair grow. not like miracle or super fast or anything, but i do feel it helps.
from now on, i'm trimming my own hair because i don't think i can make my hair look any worse then it does right now