Well, this week (not totally) confirmed that my coworker is irritated at me and I'm still clueless. But I realized that it isn't worth trying to find out right now because 1) could be big can of worms 2) might rock the boat or 3) I could be wrong.
It didn't really bother me and I've been just as nice and polite to her like always. I said goodnight before leaving and she said goodnight back. Who knows?
Another thing that I realized is that I'm not really as concerned with what people at work think of me. They've literally seen me at my worst and nothing could ever be quite as bad or embarrassing as that. Literally seeing me fall to the ground in a crying, hysterical heap and not being able to leave my desk because I couldn't stop crying or shaking. That's been nearly a year ago and that hasn't happened since then. I am definitely doing better and heading in the right direction.
Uh oh, I need to back to clowning because I don't want to ruin my reputation.....