You must be really young. You care way too much what other people think. Time, life experience and maturity will take care of a lot of that. Some people in life will push your buttons just because they can. These people know you are sensitivr about this subject. So if you let it get to you then they win. Shadeism pretty much goes with the territory of being black or really of being a minority because of the closer to white is better attitude. House slaves versus field slave mentality. I have seen plenty of it in my family because most of my mom's side is extremely light skin and freckled. The few who are dark get teased. I self identify as black but I have had black, white, asian and the rest tell me I'm not a "real" black person because I'm not dark skin and I have curly hair. My feeling about their opinions is whatever. They don't pay my bills.
Originally Posted by adthomas
This is fascinating, and also concerning. I do not understand someone teasing relatives for being darker skinned. (I don't understand anyone teasing anyone for that, really.) I don't understand the OP's friend telling her "goldilocks, you aren't mixed", either, but people who identify as black mistreating each other because they are "too black"? Don't most minorities, "black" or otherwise, have enough backward "white" people treating you poorly for that reason? Why perpetuate that on each other?? And over skin pigment levels??

Of course I get teased by fellow "white" people for being too pale. And white people are always comparing tans and bragging if they win they "who's darker" contest. How's that for ironic?

None of that makes sense to me - it honestly doesn't. Racism, shade-ism... I just don't get it.

But like you pointed out, "their feelings are whatever". Ignorance - all you can do is just shake your head and try not to let it bother you!
2c/3a/3b, Fine/med, Dense, high porous, & normal elas.

Lo-poo - Renpure Keratin, SMR, Giovanni SaS
clarifying - mix Johnson's H2T with low poo
Co-wash - Suave Nats. clar. or coco.
RO - GVPCB, Ion Eff. Care, TN.
LI - SMR, Cure Care, or RO
Seal - MO or Jojoba
DT - + honey, ACV, & EVOO to SM masque & GVPCB
PT - Gelatin!, CNPF
Styling - FSG, AIF, BRHG, LALS/PS, GF curl spray gel, SM Souffle/Smoothie, LOOB
Oils - MO!, EVOO, jojoba, GSO, SM Elixer, EVCO, VO5 Hairdressing