I think part of this pushiness comes from an opportunity for stylists to pedal product on the off chance one of us actually enjoys what they do to us after our cuts.
As far as after-cut styling, most stylists I've patronized have sincerely believed they are an exception to the rule - each seems to believe s/he has to be the one person who will surprise me and style my curls better than even I know how to style them lol. Back when I was less assertive, I just let them go ahead and style it, despite my mild protest against it.
These days if I'm getting a cut and just don't feel like dealing w/another botched style, I tell her/him that no matter what, I want my hair left alone after the cut is over. I tell her this when first meeting her. "Is that something you're comfortable with?" I ask, looking her dead in the eyes. And I've never heard anyone say no or reject the idea. I think the more direct and organized we customers are in our conversations w/stylists, the clearer the expectations, which means an easier time for everyone.