View Single Post
Old 01-03-2013, 01:28 PM   #7
adthomas
 
adthomas's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 3,628
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ss40 View Post
I think this mom should take a class on African American families. Those comments aren't meant to be hurtful. I think the Black people she is being approached by mean well. They see that child as a part of our community regardless of who is raising her. This mother is defensive. Who wouldn't be? But she thinks this is about her adopting a Black child. Its about her daughter becoming a Black woman. There are grown women who are natural & we know how hard it is to overcome the stares, the glass ceiling, etc. That's a reality we are challenged with. Hopefully her daughter won't have to be. But those people are trying to be helpful even though its coming out wrong.

When I think about it, my mom couldn't do my hair sometimes & I ended up right in a hair salon from a press or getting it braided by someone else's mom. She wasn't going to have her hair looking fresh & me looking jacked up & we are both Black.

These are my curlfessions
Maybe in some cases the mom is being defensive but a lot of times there is a racial overtone to the criticism and it is more harsh. I have heard black people say about white mothers with black children "she shouldn't have laid with a black man if she wasn't going to learn to do that child's hair." I have also heard people say they can't stand to see " little black kids with white moms and their hair sticking up all over their heads." Take that same hair and I don't believe these well meaning people would approach a woman they didn't know from Adam and give unsolicited hair advice if she was Moesha and not Becky. Yet only Becky needs the intervention? And I see little white kids whose hair looks a mess. Who is looking out for them? Is anybody talking to their mamas all crazy?

My friend is a foster parent who is white and she has had two black boys in her home. I gave her advice but because she asked me.
__________________
"More people would learn from their mistakes if they weren't so busy denying them." - Harold J. Smith.
adthomas is offline   Reply With Quote