I think this mom should take a class on African American families. Those comments aren't meant to be hurtful. I think the Black people she is being approached by mean well. They see that child as a part of our community regardless of who is raising her. This mother is defensive. Who wouldn't be? But she thinks this is about her adopting a Black child. Its about her daughter becoming a Black woman. There are grown women who are natural & we know how hard it is to overcome the stares, the glass ceiling, etc. That's a reality we are challenged with. Hopefully her daughter won't have to be. But those people are trying to be helpful even though its coming out wrong.

When I think about it, my mom couldn't do my hair sometimes & I ended up right in a hair salon from a press or getting it braided by someone else's mom. She wasn't going to have her hair looking fresh & me looking jacked up & we are both Black.

These are my curlfessions
Originally Posted by ss40
Maybe in some cases the mom is being defensive but a lot of times there is a racial overtone to the criticism and it is more harsh. I have heard black people say about white mothers with black children "she shouldn't have laid with a black man if she wasn't going to learn to do that child's hair." I have also heard people say they can't stand to see " little black kids with white moms and their hair sticking up all over their heads." Take that same hair and I don't believe these well meaning people would approach a woman they didn't know from Adam and give unsolicited hair advice if she was Moesha and not Becky. Yet only Becky needs the intervention? And I see little white kids whose hair looks a mess. Who is looking out for them? Is anybody talking to their mamas all crazy?

My friend is a foster parent who is white and she has had two black boys in her home. I gave her advice but because she asked me.