Oh, ok, I thought it was directed at me. I apologize for making that assumption.
I now live in a town, that is very different than how/where I grew up. Amongst so many other ignorant comments I've heard so many times, comments such as, "what she gonna do if that kid has nappy hair," in regards to a woman expecting a biracial child, or "what she want to adopt that black baby for." I also hear about a mom that adopted a biracial child, that she doesn't know how to do the child's hair. This little girl has the most beautiful curly hair. Once she wore it out and I complimented her. My MIL's response was, "now why you go and tell that girl her hair's pretty...you know it's a mess." This was said in front of the child, who is 4.
These comments don't come from a place of concern. They really are meant to hurt. So, I admit, I'm looking at this from a different place and from my own experiences. I see exactly what the writer is saying based on what I've seen myself in this environment.
So anyway perhaps if I had never experienced this place, I would have very similar views to yours. I don't know. I just see what this mother is saying and I can see why she's defensive. I'd be pissed too if I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what's best for my child's hair and a lot of people criticize what I do with her hair, especially knowing there are black mother's (perhaps the same ones commenting) that aren't practicing the best hair care techniques for their daughter.