If you are not ready to accept your natural hair whatever way it grows out of your head then I don't think you should stop relaxing. IMO A Natural hair journey is a transition of the hair and also of the mind in being okay with and loving what God gave you. If relaxing is causing issues you can try stretching or texturizers. why you are scared of your texture? Is it because you find certain curl types unattractive? Or are you afraid of backlash from family and friends? BTW the term coarse in regards to hair means the individual strands are thick. The opposite of coarse hair is fine hair. Are you saying you have fine hair? If so that may be why your hair is easily heat damaged. Try doing sets and using heat protectants.