It seems I don't know how to use a Swiffer? Maybe there was a part missing? Who knows!

I really want a ****ing eclair. I still want to make coffee-filled eclairs. Or napoleons with caramelized puff pastry and a layer of chocolate sponge with alternating coffee pastry cream and vanilla creme diplomat. And maybe crushed coffee bean nougatine. I need to make that happen.

Not having a pet, not drinking coffee, not eating boxed/convenience foods, and having no use for or interest in Trader Joe's (I'd go to visit RCC, though), and loathing crockpots for actual cooking sometimes makes me feel thoroughly alien on these boards.
I'm like the one you point to and go "yeah, that weird one in the corner".