I have the exact same problem. Detangling in shower is a nightmare for me. and same thing when I straighten, my ends look like this bundle of straw. I am just a 3a and dont have that tight coils and still have this tangle problem.
I am low porosity so I need to moisture as much as I can. GVPCB is my go-to product and I cant get enough of it -even if I moisturize every single day.
3a with some 2a-2c, Medium/Low Porosity
Co-wash:deva no-poo/Vo5 kiwi
Leave-in:Shea Moisture/GVP conditioning Balm/AOHSR
Since long hair- I finger twist in big chunks, which helps till 5th day hair
Plop: Old T-shirt for 15 minutes ,diffuse