my now 3 yr old went through the same thing. Step back... Take a deep breath and relax!!! It is a Phase and it will pass. Until then, I suggest washing her hair at the Kitchen sink. lay her on the counter...assuring her that mommy has her and you won't let her fall. It worked for us when she was two. After about a month, she was back to splashing away in the tub. and finally does not mind me washing her hair in the bath. Hint: new bathtub toy also does wonders.
current length: just below BSL (Oct 2012)
type: 3b/ 3c(at crown)
daily: rose water and scrunch
Every 3 days heavily Massage in EVOO mix then shampoo with Shea moisture and air dry. (no conditioner)