You get to do what you want with your hair (but you knew that). Can understand your frustration over people telling you to change your appearance to something unnatural. They can go eat gravel.
Sometimes, whether we ladies keep it straight or curly, we pour a whole lot of excess energy into trying to perfect our curls. The advice about dowsing one's hair in cold water does sound a little sadistic, even if it may seal the cuticles somewhat. It seals but it also feels really cold and uncomfortable. Sometimes we curlies sound a little over-the-top w/all our curly rituals (maybe your friends notice this, not sure).
So what if there's a little frizz? Anyway, I agree with you: curly hair can be harder to take care of than just straightening it IF the expectation is that the curly hair needs to look "just so", without a single fly away or whatever. ... Not saying you suffer this problem. This is just one more perspective.