I'm sorry you're hair is so hard to figure out. I hope something here can help you. I agree what it would be helpful if you typed up exactly how you're applying your products.
In what way did cowashing not work? Like, did in make your scalp itchy? Did you experience a difference in your hair? Did it stay just a dry? What did you use to cowash before?
What is ABHR? Do you mean AOHR? Also, what Shea Moisture product are you using? If protein is a problem for you, I think Shea Moisture might have protein in it depending on what you're using.
On this forum, we usually say that course hair is when the hair strands are really thick, like wiry. Course, to us, doesn't mean that it feels rough or dry. It's about strand thickness. Here's a website to help you figure it out:
Live Curly Live Free - Curly Hair Basics