I think you got good advice from M and Korkscrew. I've really been where you are often! It can be complicated figuring out what works and it's very discouraging.

Sometimes - less is more. Less shampooing, less protein, less gel. Start with a good trim and a simple routine and keep a little diary of how your hair responds. That has helped me track my good hair days. Otherwise it becomes a roller coaster of products and methods and more combos of products and methods.

I still have bad hair days, sometimes bad hair weeks depending on the weather so I sympathize. I hope you find what works predictably for you.
2/c-3a Coarse hair med. density.
Protein sensitive but can use occasionally
Highly porous. Color over grey.
Best 1st day method: Ice Queen!
Stylers: Mix Curls in a Bottle into everything for shine. Terrible pj
Sometimes try roller sets or use a curling brush - classic glamor.
Every day is a gift