I'm utilizing my journal and realizing how I feel about moving on. I'm fighting calling my ex so I can hear him tell me he doesn't love me anymore(instead of him telling me he does and he doesn't know what to do with the other chick) so I can move ahead. Its silly and won't help so I'm trying beating the feeling down since I know what I really want is to have him come back.
I met a guy on okcupid and we're meeting up tomorrow to watch Doctor Who since we're both fans and I'm feeling like I'm more excited about this than I should be. He knows what happened to me and we were communicating while I was still in the US and he has been super supportive, even yesterday at my lowest. Neither of us want a relationship and he isn't my type either way, not to mention he's moving to poland in a few months. But somehow he's making me smile and I'm afraid I'm grasping onto him so I can feel good. It happened before when me and my ex were briefly seperated and I regret that even though we stayed friends. This can not be healthy.
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