You were never good enough for someone who cheated on you?! Re read what you wrote please. He's not good enough for you. I shouldn't even have to write that. Cause I know you know. Don't act like you don't know.
Sometimes it's easier to feel sad and bad because at least you still have feelings with that person even if they are awful. But that's not going to get you anywhere. You can't have him, I mean if you want to share you can. Do you? Do you still want him? After what he did? You might want the old him but the old him is gone, he killed the old him. So you can be sad. But you have to keep in mind if you go back to him, it won't be the same and you won't be happy. The bad feelings are comforting in a way, but you'll never move forward holding on to rancid garbage.
I had this talk wth myself a while ago.
Although not as severe .