Get snoody! lol Seriously the snood (elongated hair net-think 30's pinup) gives me 2nd & 3rd day hair. Like you I cannot refresh w/water or any product combo - I've tried them all w/the same result frizzy, gunky, dull, & sometimes matted hair.
The snood at night allows the hair to stay in more natural position (not crushed like the bonnets or stretched by pineappling) and kind of supports the curl/wave so the ends stay curved & NO FRIZZ! Just shake out the next day.
For the shower I flip hair upside down & slide plastic shopping bag over gently twist is front & secure w/metal duck bill clips. The bit of steam perks up the texture too. I've tried using the shower caps and they just squash my hair like bonnets do.
Not the most attractive solution to 2nd day hair..but it works!